Life is better today than it was 100 years ago. Do you agree?

Enjoyment Of Life nowadays and in the past

It is generally said that our current lives is much more better than ours in the old day. Personally, I totally agree with this opinion.

Firstly, in terms of health, in the past, the were a lot of diseases we couldn't cure, not to mention didn't know the name of some. Nowadays ,however, because of the development of medicine, even some serious illness, we still can see to. Therefore, our life expectancy is more and more longer than before. In addition, we can easily have our health cheched by the doctor thank to the development of health-care services.

Secondly, the entertaining business is expanding widely more than ever. With the development of technology, we have a variety of choices to entertain ourselves. For instance, we have a range of songs which are not only ear-catching but also fun to listen to or we can watch a number of TV's programmes, more interestingly is joining in some reality shows which will definitely give us both the enjoyment and valued experiences.

Finally, big changes in education is the thing we can not mention. Hardly did people have a chance to go to school in the past 100 years ago, yet today everyone has the right to be educated, at least primary school. That did have an positive effect on the rate of illiteracy as it is becoming more and more small.

In conclusion, I believe there are so much more things for us to enjoy ourselves today than before.

This essay cannot be properly reviewed based on the scoring rubic criteria due to lack of word count. The essay does not meet the minimum 250 word requirement. Due to the missing word count, deductions will be applied in a manner that can affect the overall scoring consideration. The opening paraphrase and the concluding paraphrase are incomplete. These do not fully reflect the discussion requirements.

It is better if you do not use a counting system to represent your discussion. Using a clear topic sentence at the start of every paragraph would better assist your C&C score since you will immediately start with a clear topic reference in each body paragraph.

Please remember that there is a minimum 3 sentence requirement per paragraph. When you have only 2 sentences, you fall under the required paragraph number and will get a lower score in terms of GRA considerations.

Overall, while the essay has an acceptable discussion, the existing forced errors, based on the rubic, will bring the score of this essay to less than a 5. Maybe a 4 or 4.5. You are close to getting a passing score. You just need to work a little harder to provide an improved discussion presentation in your next practice exercise.

1, I think your word count will be not enough so you need to improve.
2, For the first argument, you mention 'health'. I think it is a good factor to write about. However, to make your essay persuasive, there is no other option better than including factual numbers or events. In this case, you can search figures related to Corona virus and Sars to compare how better the medical systems work in this day and age to save people from outbreaks.

3, For the second argument of entertainment, it will be helpful if you can compare with your parents' time when they often lacked interesting tools of today entertainment to make it more exact with the question essay and to lengthen your writing.