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Life in high-rise apartments provides a much better sense of community than life in houses


cattho2001 1 / -  
Nov 30, 2021   #1

IELTS task 2 - High-rise apartments



Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay:

Seeking suitable accommodation has always been a topic of interest. While some argue that residing in separate flats causes people to experience solitude due to the lack of a sense of community, others claim that the community spirit can be better nurtured by those living in apartment complexes rather than those accommodating in houses. In this essay, I will look at both aspects before presenting my own thoughts on the matter.

On the one hand, many apartment residents lead a quiet and lonesome lifestyle. Apartment contractors usually aim to create the most comfortable living environment by adding convenient factors in one condo as much as possible, depriving people of the motivation to go out and meet neighbours since they can do everything in their flats. In particular, many complexes nowadays allow their residents to pay for their utility bills online and also provide groceries shipment services. Therefore, other than commuting to school or work, most people have no incentive to go out and socialize with neighbors. As a result, most apartment inhabitants are rendered to a reclusive and mundane style of living.

On the other hand, condominiums have the regulations and events needed to foster solidarity among residents. When choosing to accommodate an apartment, residents must follow a set of rules and participate in multiple compulsory events that allow them to socialize and get to know each other. For instance, many complexes organize annual meetings for people to meet and discuss the growth and management of the building. Also, fire drills are often conducted so that people can know how to support and help each other in case of an accident. All of these promote healthy relationships between residents not only in terms of making friends but also building solid support for each other.

To my mind, apartment inhabitants can definitely lead a more sociable lifestyle and are better incentivised to establish a great sense of community for they are provided with a suitable environment and condition. While some residents are not intrigued to socialize with their neighbours, this has been alleviated by building management implementing stricter policies to encourage their residents.

Please evaluate my essay and give me feedback as well as score if you can.
Thanks a lot!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,051 4255  
Dec 1, 2021   #2
Hi, as a general format essay based on a solid personal point of view of both statements, the essay is well written. As an argument that explains the pros and cons based on the public perception, the essay fails to provide a clear opinion. The d"iscuss both views and give an opinion essay" asks the writer to accomplish 2 things:

- Provide an explanation of the public support or non support based on a third person point of view. This will help differentiate the discussion from your personal opinion

- Provide a personal opinion that shows a clear assessment of both opinions, then offering solid support for your preferred public opinion.

Without the proper use of third person group pronouns, you did not clearly create a demarcation line between the public and your opinion. You only provided your opinion for all 3 scenarios. That is sad because your personal opinion had a good start, but lacked an explanation development based on the appropriate explanation of the public opinion side.

The essay also does not have a proper summary conclusion to close the essay. Now, when in an actual setting, the inability of the writer to create a summary conclusion could lead to an immediate failure of the test. That is why you must make sure that you do not present an incomplete essay. The rule is "Discuss both views is a standard 5 paragraph essay". You are missing a whole paragraph in your presentation.


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