Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Life itself is a big recipe- COURAGE; Concept Essay/ Grand Canyon U

JeremyofAL 1 / 2  
May 18, 2013   #1
I am -recently getting back into school and this is my first English course sense reenrolling. The concept that I chose to disect is courage. Thank you in advance.

A great recipe is always defined by the success of the outcome. How good does the food taste? Consideration to the time, effort, or complexity of the recipe is often neglected while the dish is being devoured. Even the various ingredients of a formula have their own make up. For example, cheese is a staple of pizza but cheese has its own method of being produced. Life itself is a big recipe. Each day is an ingredient that adds or subtracts from the success of our outcome. Every characteristic of a day can even be broken down to its bare recipe. What about the aspect of courage? Although courageous moments can be complex on the surface, the recipe is quite simple: fear, faith, and the moment.

With over seven billion people in the world, the possibilities of what people are afraid of are infinite. There are traditional fears such as snakes and spiders in addition to the odd phobias such as papyrophobia, or the fear of paper ("Papyrophobia - Fear of Paper", 2012). We all have things that we are petrified to do. Public speaking can transform an outgoing person into a sweating statue. Courage sounds like such a noble characteristic but yet it requires fear. How is this possible? What separates the seasoned politician giving a speech compared to the common person? The Congressman may not sound believable but he is comfortable in front of the crowds and flood of cameras. The average person would be terrified stating their name and ABC's in front of a large gathering. Any task without fear is just a routine. However, action and perseverance while dragging fear along for the ride is what separates a courageous event from the mundane.

Our fears are uniquely engraved into our personalities for one reason. We dread the consequences and the worst case scenario associated with the fears. A picture of a snake immediately causes most people to imagine the sneaky serpent opening its mouth, exposing the venomous daggers, and striking the flesh. The consequences of the bite could be sickness or death. The next ingredient of courage is faith. The willingness to take action despite the fear and deciding to accept the outcome is the foundation of courage. A soldier in the battlefield has accepted the mission. The area may be riddled with explosions and streaking bullets yet he ignores the pounding in his chest and tumbling of the stomach. The possibility that death could occur before the next footstep is on one side of the brain. However, on the other side is the thought of saving his wounded comrade that is stranded. Carrying his fear and accepting the possibility of death all while rescuing his friend. In order for courage to shine through, a person much reach the point when the future consequences will no longer shackle them. The acceptance that the outcome may not be ideal nonetheless the inward emergency break becomes disengaged and action must happen.

Courage is normally displayed in a small window or moment. Because everyone has different fears and various levels of faith, the moment can be anywhere and anytime. The battlefield is the stereotype of courageous venues. Aristotle believed that courage was restricted to the military. However, Confucius understood that courage was a much broader aspect and a part of our everyday lives (Jiang, X., 2012). Elementary school plays can often be a great scene of courage. The children line up to sing the song they have been practicing for weeks. Eyes from the stage are gazing out to find their parents as the camcorders and digital cameras stare back at them. In the back corner is the child displaying his courage as tears are running down his face. Even knowing ahead of time of the upcoming melt down, he stands in front of the audience. He's trying to sing with the others while clashing with his fear of the stage. The faith that his parents will be proud of him regardless pushes him until the curtain falls. The Christmas Play was his battlefield! Adults like to joke about teens and how wrapped up they are in the chaotic teen galaxy. The question flies around about how can teenagers be so dramatic about little things. When a boy asks a girl to the dance despite the fear of abysmal rejection that is a courageous moment in his young life. Also, the moment on the surface may not tell whether it is of courage or not. Two men jump out of the small plane at 14000 feet in the air. This certainly sounds brave! However, one of these men is the skydiving instructor with absolutely no fear. The other man is wondering how many pieces his body will break into once the parachute does not open and he slams the earth. We don't always know when someone is displaying their courage. These moments can be simple, complex, quick, lengthy, theatrical, quiet, or loud. But one thing is certain; everyone has their own events that would require courage to accomplish.

Our days are filled with routines of ordinary tasks that we can do without any effort. Even the dreaded Mondays are something we tackle fifty two times a year. There are those things that we dread and avoid with every ounce of stubbornness that we muster. Eventually we reach a point where the avoidance is more bothersome than the fear. The moment arises when we refuse to dodge the issue. This build up may last three seconds or thirty years. We lug our fear while we take action the same way the lava from an erupted volcano carries its broken top down the side. Bravery is displayed every day in all walks of life. Courage has a simple recipe yet the ingredients are not at the grocery store. We are all chefs of our own dish of courage. We have to have fear that is no longer debilitating, faith and the pre acceptance of the outcome, and the moment that pushes the individual to action. The recipe is simple and results are etched in memories!

Shumaila86 11 / 31 9  
May 25, 2013   #2
Hi Jeremy, yer essay is quite long. do ye have any word limit? u hv got enough knowledge to cover the topic, but ideas are not linked properly. When u do not use 'Linking word or phrase', ur reader becomes bored and skips a lot of information. even u jump from one sentence to next. Do use the 'Linking word or phrases', so u can make it more organized.

Grammatical errors: Although u know much about grammar, but 'Comma Splice Errors' are frequently found in ur essay.
Two independent clauses should be connected with each other by: coma + conjunction ( and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet) , or semicolon only.
For example, I went there, but the shop was closed. OR I went there; the shop was closed

I hope it helps u...

Home / Writing Feedback / Life itself is a big recipe- COURAGE; Concept Essay/ Grand Canyon U