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Today's life is less satisfied and less happy than in the past


Vitor Barros 1 / 1  
Sep 3, 2015   #1
Hi, someone could help me with some feedbacks about my essay.

Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past.

Some people say that today's life is better than the past because of the technology but other ones argue that in the past life was much easier. Today, people are living healthier and longer because medicine evolve quickly in the last years. However, I believe that today people are less satisfied and less happy with their lives because people life is more stressful and expensive.

Today people's life is more stressful than it was in the past. Now, people study hard to get a good job. It is true that in the past people studied less and could get some good jobs, though. For example, nowadays to graduate in a university is not enough to get a good job. It is necessary to get a doctor's degree or master's degree in order to get better wages and promotion, as well. Therefore, in the past, people had much more time with their families because they did not have to spend much time attending master and doctor'degree.

Today life is much more expensive than it was in the past. In my country is very expensive to buy a house, but in the past it were much cheaper. At the same time, in the past people get sick more often because medicine have evolved quickly in the last 30 years. On the other hand, today, people's life is more overwhelming because they need to provide for their families in a more expensive world. For example, to buy an apartment in the neighborhood where I live with my parents is much more expensive, but in the past it would be half of the price.

To conclude, based on the arguments exposed above I am of the opinion that today'life is much more stressful and expensive and because of that people are less satisfied and happy. I recommend people live their lives more quietly and at ease because life is unique and goes fast.

Samuelsam123 12 / 46 20  
Sep 4, 2015   #2
Hi Victor

First of all, your idea for the opening paragraph is good however it will be better if you don't put any points in the opening.

Today, people are living healthier and longer because medicine evolve quickly in the last years.

SECONDLY ´╝Übecause people life is more stressful and expensive.
People's lifeare

This sentence has some grammar error:
For example, nowadays to graduate in a university is not enough to get a good job.
For example , nowadays simply a certificate of college graduation is not enough to get a high paying job.

It is necessary to get a doctor's degree or master's degree in order to get better wages and promotion, as well.
A higher proficiency has a higher chance of getting a higher pay.

I think that you need to elaborate more on the previous points only then to reach this "Ending" you wrote
Therefore, in the past, people had much more time with their families because they did not have to spend much time attending master and doctor'degree.

Why start a new paragraph with the same kind of beginning ? Try switch things up a bit.
Today life is much more expensive than it was in the past.

In my country is very expensive to buy a house, but in the past it were much cheaper
Where do you stay ? State the country that you list.

"At the same time, in the past people get sick more often because medicine have evolved quickly in the last 30 years. On the other hand, today, people's life is more overwhelming because they need to provide for their families in a more expensive world. "

This does not tie with the starting paragraph of the second one. It will be an off-topic answer.

I am of the opinion
I am on the _________________ side.
OP Vitor Barros 1 / 1  
Sep 4, 2015   #3
Thanks, In the second paragraph I can say that Medicine evolve in the last 30 years and medicines are cheaper. Therefore, poor people can afford better treatments and be healthier and live longer.

If I make this addaptation I wouldn't be off-topic.


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