Surely, everyone wants to change their life better than before. Therefore, they plan to move one company to other company. Before, we decide to change others company, we must think again. Because we must prepare look for in the new company. The most important thing is our family supposing we want to move in Surabaya for working whereas our family in Borneo. So that it will be troublesome for us. In the order hand, if we switch to other company frequently; we will be branded as disloyal employee.
Recently, as far as we know every company provide big salary to their employee only to bind in order to he does not move. Moreover, the company will give you allowance and remuneration, because they know to find loyal employee it's difficult. In modern era, people always think about money. Of course, up to now all of us need it to buy everything such as commodity, privacy transportation, and many more. Additionally, when we will be an old man, better we stay in our company and entire our life than move to others company. Because every company is requirements to recruit employee by age. The company does not want employ worker elderly, because they loose of accuracy about their job.
On the other hand, it's good when we move away looking for a new experience. If we are still young, we must utilize our potentials in order to we can learn about everything. As well as, we must seek in outside for new challenge, don't just shut up in our chair. If we find new challenge, definitely we will find the new ways to overcome that problem automatically our ability will be increasingly. Additionally, we have obligation to self development, because in other company surely we will find new people with many kinds of characters, cultures, and characteristic.
Overall, before we determine about everything, we should think be careful because it's not only our life but also our family. We must become wise man, have establishment and not easily influenced of another people. The most important thing is we must adjust our age with our job. Because, all of it depends on the level of need and the level of our ability to work.
Sorry to say this... But, there are just way too many grammar mistakes.
I suggest you look to inspect your essay carefully once again, and try to find the mistakes by yourself.
First, a few admin requests - All threads relating to IELTS tasks should be opened in Writing Feedback forum which is the most appropriate forum for them. This has been transferred from Grammar Usage to Writing Feedback from us. Also, include your task prompt in the thread so that we know exactly what it requires from you and accordingly provide our feedbacks :)
