Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

I would like to thank an Anonymous Hero (Ms. B. Phares)

jasonwrightman 1 / -  
Oct 3, 2011   #1
I had the wonderful adventure in my life to witness a HERO IN ACTION. I never knew her name, I never saw her again until recently. I know the duties this hero has are never recognized, recognition is never wanted and never sought. I have witnessed first hand she take her assignments with full responsibility and dedication and completes with minimum casualties, conflicts or losses.

As I said earlier, I never knew her name and never saw her again since our first encounter. But, recently I HAVE seen her again. I wanted to know more about her. I wanted to know who she was, what she does, what her life is like...all I could find out about this person.

She is SO SAD, I wanted to know why. Why is this person I have looked up to for years, remembered as a HERO for years, and dreamed of for years so sad? I wanted to know her, what is going on in her life and what I could possibly do to help. I dared not ask her. I dared not interrupt her. I dared not disturb her in any way. But I had to know.

I have always remembered her as a strong, dominant woman taking the seriousness of the issue and handling it, making sure all were safe while taking care of her unit and the personnel accompanying her unit. Watching this HERO in action on July 14, 2001 was amazing. She arrived with her unit. It was apparent she knew exactly where she was going and what she was going to do. She guided her unit, designated their duties and promptly went on to complete her own. She was at that time in full gear, ready for anything she would encounter. Encounter she did.

With speed and grace, full agility, she took control of the situation. Identified who was where (hostile and friendly) and set the plan in motion. I was amazed watching her in action. She and her unit quickly subdued all of the hostiles, confining the hostiles and eliminating any additional threat to the victims in the storage area. She quickly went directly to one of the victims and immediately began CPR and other life saving techniques as needed. She then began going through all of the victims and assessing the injuries and the extent of the care required for removal of each victim and each hostage in the storage area. It was amazing watching her work. she is friendly, smiling and fast. She helped so many persons before the airlifts arrived. Preparing each individual for transport, making each person as comfortable as possible considering the situation and the extreme extent of the injuries. I was frankly amazed.

The speed in which this entire unit came in, diffused the situation and began treating and removing victims was frankly amazing. All were extremely focused on what they were assigned to do and very well trained in their responsibilities.

It was fantastic to watch such a great display of courage, discipline and AMERICAN HEROISM from this entire unit. No less than 6 persons were saved this day. We, the victims of this conflict, are still in contact due to the special bond this incident made between us. This could never be if we were not rescued by this unit. I watched in utter amazement as Ms. B. Phares assigned responsibilities, mended, splinted, prepared for transport a total of 17 persons during this mission. She is extremely well trained in the responsibilities she holds when in charge of her unit. That was obvious. Her unit is an extremely well oiled machine, well prepared for any conflict or confrontation and on call for AMERICA as needed. I was proud to be rescued by this unit.

As I said earlier, I have never seen her since this conflict, the day my life was saved. Until one week ago. I recognized her immediately. I saw her in the hallway and she looked so very sad. I do not know why. My instinct was to help her in any way I could. I asked everyone I could who she is, where she comes from, and so much more. Funny, all I got was the following: Ms. B. Phares. I could not uncover any other information on this wonderful person. I assume I should not. I wanted the world to know she is an AMERICAN HERO in my book.

Thank you always and forever. I wish you the best in life and the best the world has to offer.

Leah_Writer - / 46 4  
Oct 5, 2011   #2
Wow, this is really heartfelt. I can tell you mean every word you're saying, and that's especially important in writing. I think you could get rid of the capitalization of AMERICAN HERO and some other words--it is not necessary and may even detract from the reader's experience as he or she is taken back to the day you're describing in your writing. If you want to emphasize, you can use italics or even bold print, but I don't think you need to. I think your words really speak for themselves, here. I also like your use of a mix of short and long sentences. I might think about putting "Until one week ago." as it's own paragraph, to draw attention to it and add drama. Overall, i think this is a wonderful narrative, although I would encourage you to check it over for sentence structure. I spotted a couple of little mechanical errors like that this sentence "I know the duties this hero has are never recognized, recognition is never wanted and never sought." is a runon. I think with a quick check for things like that, this will be a really wonderful piece of writing. It's already very moving.

Home / Writing Feedback / I would like to thank an Anonymous Hero (Ms. B. Phares)