What I like apart from having fun.

Hi,hope you are all fine.Please comment on this article the much you can,I have been asked by my Education advisor to write a little what I like apart from having fun.I real do like having fun thats why he asked me what do I like apart from having fun, but I wish you have fun reading this.

"Going for what I want in life is my professional like. I'm not afraid exercising my talents and go for as many option as I can. I believe I have all it takes to be a top class telecom engineer.I am also well determined and focused onto changing my life and that of the people around me.Preservarance and enthusiams persurance of education, combing with my talents, great thinking mind, hard working, cooperative heart, and with the help of our dear loving God, I believe everything can be achieved."

Bare in mind, He will use that part on my undegraduate admission.Thank you.

Yes, the first sentence does not make sense. Maybe this is better:
"Going for what I want in life is my professional way of doing what I like. "Having fun" as a professional is not the same as having fun as a child.

And now we make the verbs "parallel," by putting ing with both... exercising and ---> going
I'm not afraid of exercising my talents and going for as many option as I can.

I believe I have all it takes ...--- good

I am also welldetermined and focused onto on changing my life and that of the people around me.--- another good sentence

Spell check! ----> Perseverance and enthusiam persurance in pursuit of education, combing combined with my talents, focused mind, hard working body, cooperative heart, with the help of our dear loving God, I believe make if possible for everything to be achieved."

:-)

Thank you.It's as if you was on my mind.I,m looking forward into releasing anathor thread.