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Not like my expected club; 'Art club is the best club I've joined'


yuarar 1 / -  
May 16, 2014   #1
I've always wanted to take up an artistic hobby, and I finally got the chance! There is new club at my school. I wanted to join the art club because I love art like drawing and painting. I was wondering how fun and amazing my new club. I can meet someone who have the same interest.

I was so excited about this club. But the club wasn't like what I expected. We didn't do anything special, just laid back because the teacher was so busy. She always delayed the meeting. It's ok if just once or twice but she delayed the meeting more than 3 weeks.

I tried to be patient. I was very happy because I met some interesting people. They helped me to develop my creativity. They were so good. And after 3 weeks, we started the club as it should be. Art club is the best club I've joined.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
May 17, 2014   #2
I wanteddecided to join the art club because I love art like drawing and painting. appreciate all forms of art, especially painting.

I was wondering how fun and amazing my new club. I can meet someone who have the same interest.

I was wondering what an amazing this new experience would be when I would be among many others who too share the same passion and interest as mine.

It's ok if just once or twice but she delayed the meeting more than 3 weeks.

It would have been tolerable had she delayed the meeting once or twice, but she did that for more than three weeks.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 18, 2014   #3
I was so excited about this club. But the club wasn't like what I expected. We didn't do anything special, just laid back because the teacher was so busy. She always delayed the meeting. It's ok if just once or twice but she delayed the meeting more than 3 weeks.
I tried to be patient. I was very happy because I met some interesting people. They helped me to develop my creativity. They were so good. And after 3 weeks, we started the club as it should be. Art club is the best club I've joined.

Well, there is no connection between these two paras :( In the previous one you talk about your disappointment and in the next para, you talk about the pleasing experience with that. You have to tell us how you (with the help of other guys) overcame the issue and made it more interesting place for you. It is important to have a good flow in writing. You need to present your ideas in a more logical sequence.
Tiffany Lin 3 / 5 1  
May 18, 2014   #4
I've always wanted to take up an artistic hobby, and I finally got the chance! There was new club at my school. I wanted to join the art club because I loved art, like drawing and painting. I wondered how fun and amazing my new club. I could meet someone who had the same interest.


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