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"Like father, like son" - children benefits if they are brought up with care, love from their father


sung_tung 5 / 9  
Sep 4, 2009   #1
Please help me to rate my essay.

Topic: Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.
Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as mush as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?"
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It is really sad that nowadays some children grow up without knowing their fathers. They has suffered from social prejudices and the odium of friends. Children need two parents for their existence and upbringing. By any means fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood.

The mother cannot make up her mind alone having a child. And the father has a right to choose whether he wants to have a baby or not. Once they have decided to have a baby, the duties comes both of them. Even when they don't live together, father need to provide financial support to both mother and children, especially if mother is unemployed. Simultaneously, he should look after and find time to play with their children. If a child does not have a father, he will be sorrowful and shy. After all, father is also an important pillar of physical heath and mental psychological which children can turn for wisdom.

Mothers are usually loving to their children while fathers discipline their child learn right from wrong. There are some children who don't have fathers may lead a life as a criminal when they grow up because they lack the discipline and education from fathers. In addition, there are some jobs which children only learn from their father. For example, I can learn how to fix a fan from my father which I do not think my mother can teach . Overall, it is necessary for a child to have two parents to develop perfectly.

"Like father, like son", children can receive best things if they are brought up with care and love from their father. So fatherhood as well as motherhood must be praised and emphasized.
kmauer21 2 / 6  
Sep 5, 2009   #2
You have quite a bit of tense errors, the duties comes both of them and father need to provide financial .

Also, maybe you could follow the line of why mothers are usually the only parent. For instance, an unplanned birth and the father leaves. Then the effects on the child.

Try not to use to be verbs or contractions, They has suffered
have decided to have a baby, , they don't live

This has potential, but needs a lot of work and more depth.

GOOD LUCK!
music man 4 / 8  
Sep 5, 2009   #3
Hello, I think you need to review your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes, cause there are quite a few. But other than that, good job! :)
essay0405 7 / 16  
Sep 7, 2009   #4
Overall, it is necessary for a child to have two parents to develop perfectly.
I think you should write that:
Overall, it is necessary for a child to have both mother and father to develop perfectly.
You know, I think we often say that his/her parents and I think that means both mother and father. I haven't heard anyone said that two parents.


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