From the limestone and clay - process of making cement

the production of building concrete

The pictures illustrate the process of making cement and stages in the production of building concrete.
From the limestone and clay, they are through into crusher to create the powder. This mix then put into the mixer before going to the next step in the rotating heater. In this stage, heating is blown into the machine, and then all mixed ingredients are under the grinder to create the cement. This cement is put into the bags then allocation and selling to the customers.

In construction for a building, the workers use cement with others with the machine to make a mix of concrete for infrastructure. This mix includes 15 percent cement, one-tenth water, one-fourth of sand and the majority ingredient is gravel. Small stones accounted for a half of mix. All mix put into the machine - concrete mixer. Subsequently, the machine rolls around to create the soothing mix for construction purposes.

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Huyen, in order to gain the proper scoring consideration for this process explanation and analysis essay, you need to present 4 paragraphs. That is the requirement for this type of Task 1 writing and that is what the examiner will be looking for. You could have easily done that by dividing the explanation into 3 parts. These parts could have covered:

1. Summary overview with trending statement
2. Explanation regarding how cement production and concrete production use similar materials
3. Cement production process
4. Concrete production process

For accuracy purposes, do not change the information in the illustration. The measurements for concrete production were presented in percentage format, yet in your analysis, you used word fractional measurements. This runs counter to the actual information presented and does not accurately represent the illustration. In order to score better, do not change the presentation from the original. By doing so, you indicate that you not only understood the material, but you also know how to accurately paraphrase the illustration in the presentation.

By presenting the procedure in this manner, you will be able to meet the 4 paragraph requirement and also, better explain the procedure to the reader.

Thank you, I will follow your advice in the next essays.