Home / Writing Feedback   ✓ % width Posts: 2

A line chart about how many times per year the juveniles in Australia ate fast foods

ChingTang 2 / 2
Nov 30, 2016   #1
IELTS Writing Task 1: Consumption of Fast Food by Australian Teenagers

There is a line chart about how many times a year do the juveniles have fast food in Australia from 1975 to 2000. Pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers are compared in the chart.

Fish and chips are consumed a hundred times in a year in 1975, and it is around tenfold increased as many pizza and hamburgers. Then the number of eaten of fish and chips declined slowly, and eventually drop off to about 85 times in 1980. However, the amount of fish and chips consumption immediately climb up and stop to the number 95 in 1985. Yet it starts to fall gradually. In the end, it is lower than the consumption of hamburgers in late 1985 and pizza in late 1990.

Instead of the fluctuated times of eaten of fish and chips, the number of times eaten of pizza and hamburgers always raise from 1975 to 1995, and they both consequently in a steady state from 1995 to 2000.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309
Nov 30, 2016   #2
Ching Tang, IELTS buddy is a website that has many IELTS sample answers and questions. Do you expect the reader to go there and search the picture of your writing? It might be very HELPFUL to us if you just SAVE the picture from that website and upload it here. Perhaps, you can just also copy and paste the link of the picture here, as simple as that. However, this is the detailed feedback towards your writing. Hope this helps :)

- There is a line chartThe line graph illustrates the information about how many times in a year do the juveniles haveconsume fast food in Australia from 1975 to 2000.

- Pizza, fish and chips, and hamburgers arewere compared in the chart.(too simple. This type of overview will only make your band score become 5 or below in terms of task achievement.)

- Fish and chips arewere consumed a (...), and it iswas around tenfold...
- Then, (comma needed) the number of eaten of fish and chips (...) eventually dropped off...
- ...immediately climbed up and stopped to the number 95 in 1985.
- Yet it startsNevertheless, it was started to fall gradually.

It is quite clear that you has mistakenly chosen the appropriate tenses for this type of task. When you take a closer look at THE YEAR, it is actually obvious that this data was taken in the PAST and therefore, PAST FORM of sentences are needed.

 Home / Writing Feedback / A line chart about how many times per year the juveniles in Australia ate fast foods