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Writing task 1, line graph, 4 catalogues, change over time


huen 3 / 8  
May 26, 2021   #1

cinema attendance statistics



The chart describes how many people of different ages watched movies in the cinema once a month in Great Britain from 1984 to 2000.

Overall, there was an increase in the proportion of people going to the cinema, with the most significant rise was seen in the figure for teenagers and was the highest number throughout the period.

The percentage of adolescences was about 18% in 1984, after which it sharply increased to around 55% in 1999 and kept growing gradually to reach a peak at just under 60% in 2000. The figure for people 35 and over years old witnessed a similar change, which rose gradually before ending the period at roughly 15%.

Approximately 10% of kids watching in the cinema in 1984, with a subsequent increase to nearly 40% in 1999, but later dropped to 32% in the next year. Similarly, the figure for those who were 25-35 age saw a rapid growth in the first decade, followed by a leveling off in the next five years and a final rise to 32%.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,263 3976  
May 27, 2021   #2
The chart

Incorrect image reference. This is a line graph, not a chart. familiarize yourself with the image names to prevent image misrepresentations that could lower your TA score due to an incorrect summary overview.

cinema, with the

This is a run-on. A period should be used in place of a comma. That would have beena more grammatically correct presentation of the second data set, with the next sentence starting with, "The" instead.

adolescences

Lexical error. You meant adolescents, referring to young children rather than adolescence wich is the growing stage of a child. Do not use words if you are not sure of the usage. Do not risk a collective LR deduction consideration.

The essay is mainly presented in run-on form. These successive errors could create significant deductions in GRA points that could cause a final failing score.


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