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The line graph compares the contentment level of people on health care system in different countries


Helenbui 1 / 1  
Jun 17, 2016   #1
TASK 1 IELTS WRITING June - LEVEL OF SATISFACTION

The line graph compares the contentment level of people on health care system in different countries namely over a 16-year period.
Overall, among these four countries, Canada and Netherland had the highest level of satisfaction rates, while the lowest figures were seen in the UK and the US.

In the 1991-1998 period, the number of people who were satisfied with health care services in Canada dropped to a low of about 20, which was the strongest decrease over the time frame. In the following period (1998-2007), this figure increased significantly to approximately 40. By contrast, the people contentment ratings of Netherland rose slightly before falling gradually in the next 9 years.

Meanwhile, over the same period (1991-2007), the patterns for the United Kingdom and the United State were almost similar which followed upward trends although the former saw a more impressive rise to 25 in 2007, while the latter stood at a humble number of 10.

p/s: Please help me! How many band scores I can get?




wahyu 16 / 28 1  
Jun 17, 2016   #2
What app Helen, your essay still need some reparations, i have suggestions to your introduction paragraph.

you could use this pattern :
1. Reserve some of the information, paraphrase and use some synonyms.
2. Overview the information

The line graph compares ...

My suggestion :
The line graph depicts a breakdown of the number of health care system in several nations between 1991 and 2007. Overall, it can be seen that some countries had the increased trend at their healt care system's number, while another country decrease.


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