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The line graph describes the progression of total railroad journey visitors in the United Kingdom


liv_ryu 13 / 22 6  
Apr 9, 2016   #1
IELTS writing Task 1 : The Passenger Railway Journey in Great Britain Between 1950 and 2004/5

The line graph illustrates the progression of total railroad journey visitor in the United Kingdom over the following years from 1950 to 2004/5. Overall, it can be seen that there are 3 categories railways transportations, National Rail Network, London Underground, and Light Rail and Metro System, while National Railway Network was the most popular transportation among Britain but London Underground was succeed break the record at the end of period.

Moving to more detailed analysis, there was a fluctuating trend in National Rail Network and London Underground. At the beginning of period, National Rail Network as the favourite transportation in the UK stood at 1,000 millions people, while London Underground only attract less than 750 millions travellers. Over the next 35 years, although both experienced downward trend, the famous one remained dominant. In contrast, Light Rail and Metro System hit a low of 0 passengers in 1980 before rising slightly in the same period.

Between 1985 and 2004/5, National Rail Network and London Underground witnessed erratic fluctuation, while the London Underground boosted dramatically over the last period in 2004/5. Interestingly, roughly 200 millions users travelled by Light Rail and Metro System ending period.



ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Apr 9, 2016   #2
Lily, I notice from all of your threads. Someone reminded you about composing a paragraph which consists at least three sentences. You need to take it as your biggest consideration. You need to complete the way you present your report summary in your overview / introduction paragraph. A 2-sentence paragraph is considered weak by the examiner. It relates to many kinds of Languages, not just English. Don't you remember that if it was in Indonesian Language, this becomes a problem too. Even our Indonesian teacher suggest us (Indonesian) to compose at least 4 sentences for a paragraph right? Hence, you are suggested to format your opening sentence for at least three sentences. Now, for a detailed analysis for your grammatical errors.

- in the United Kingdom over the following years from 1950 to 2004/5 (unnecessary additional details)
- Overall, it can be seen that, there are 3three categories of railways transportations , such as National Rail Network, London Underground, and Light Rail and Metro System, . (period, then new sentence)while National Railway Network was the most popular transportation among Britain, (comma needed) but London Underground was succeededin breaking the record at the end of the period. (don't you realize that this sentence was TOO LONG? So, I separated it.)

- Rail Network as the favourite transportation in the UK, (comma needed) stood at approximately 1,000 millions of people,
- ...only attracted ...millions of travellers
- low of 0 (zero) passengers
- roughly 200 millions of users
- ....in the end of theending period.

I hope my suggestions and corrections will be valuable for your future essays. I hope to see one of them soon.

Keep writing and good luck! :)


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