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IELTS10 - Line graph - CO2 emissions in the UK, Sweden, Italy and Portugal

Jan 3, 2018   #1

carbon dioxide emanation

The line graph illustrates changes in carbon dioxide emissions in four different countries, UK, Sweden, Italy and Portugal from 1967 to 2007. Overall, carbon dioxide emissions were increased per person in Italy and Portugal and declined in the United Kingdom and Sweden in 2007.

In 1967 people exhausted around 11 tonnes of carbon dioxide in the UK.It remained a gradually downward trend for 40 years. Although it had a dramatic rise around two tonnes in Sweden in 1977, it dropped significantly to five tonnes in 2007.

However, it had a different trend in Italy and Portugal.By 1967, carbon dioxide emissions per person were approximately four and two tonnes in Italy and Portugal.Sweden was overtaken by Italy which had a slight rise from four to eight tonnes between 1967 and 2007. As well as Portugal increased markedly to around fivefold emissions.

To conclude, there are two countries, Sweden and Portugal that had an obvious difference even though they differ eight-fold tonnes in 1967 while carbon dioxide emissions in Sweden and Portugal that had similar tonnes in 2007.
Holt [Contributor] 1542  
Jan 3, 2018   #2
Luo, where is the line graph illustration? You should have uploaded it with this essay in order for me to be able to review your response in relation to the provided information. I cannot accurately review your topic, based on the scoring criteria, without the drawing. Since I can only give you one free advice, I am really sad that you wasted the opportunity for you to receive a professional review for your work. Please remember to upload the image next time otherwise, you can't expect to get advice that can actually help you improve your work in the Task 1 essay presentation.

The most obvious problem of your essay is the way that your paragraphs are not really paragraphs which are threshed out and developed in presentation and explanation. You only have 2 sentences per paragraph which is one sentence below the minimum 3 sentence requirement (maximum is 5). That indicates that you have created a series of run on sentences within the essay. This constant run- on presentation will result in a failing score in the GRA section, as well as the C&C section because you failed to show your ability to write your sentences in a simple and/or complex variety per paragraph. That is the biggest problem with this essay at this point.
OP orph  
Jan 3, 2018   #3
Thank you for your feedback. I didn't upload my graph because I don't know how to upload. I apologise for my mistake.

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