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The line graph illustrates the percentages of four different age groups attending Australia's cinema


SHIROIELTS 1 / 1  
Nov 3, 2016   #1
The line graph illustrates the percentages of four different age groups attending Australia's cinema at least annually. The time began with 1990 till now, with predictions to 2010.

It is clearly that the age of 14-24 year olds group has the highest percentage than other three groups. It reached 95% at 1990 then dropped 5% and kept remaining stable for a while. It is predicted that in the future, the percentage will go upward from 2008. As to the groups of 35-49 years old and elderly age, the percentage of attending cinema increased gradually. The age of 50+ year olds' percentage started with 40% and slightly fluctuated from 1994 to 2000. The percentage will rise gradually from now on. As to the middle age began with 60% and remained stabilized over a period. It is anticipated that the percentage will increase rapidly from 2002.

The percentage of 25-34 year olds' group is adverse to three other groups. The group started with 60% and showed dramatic uplift that reached the highest 80% at the year of 2000. The percentage forecasted will stay unchanged for a while and will plummet sharply till 2010.

Overall, youngsters have the highest percentage in attending Cinema in Australia. Surprisingly, the group of 25-34 year olds' group become rarely into watching movie in Cinema anymore.



septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Nov 3, 2016   #2
Hello! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

(1) ... the percentages of four different age groups who attendingto Australia's cinema at least annually
(2) The time began withfrom 1990 tilltonowrecent time, with predictions to 2010.
(3) It iswas clearly that people at the age of 14-24 year olds group hashave the highest percentage ...
(4) It reached at 95% atin 1990 then dropped by 5% and kept ...
(5) It iswas predicted that (...), the percentage will gowent upward from 2008 to ...
(6) As to the groups of 35-49 years old and elderly age, the percentage ...
People aged 35 - 49 or people in the 35 - 49 age group ...
(7) The age of 50+ year olds' percentage started with ...
People over 50 years of age, ....
OP SHIROIELTS 1 / 1  
Nov 3, 2016   #3
@septiadara29
Thanks for correcting my essay:D, can I ask you some questions(grammar that I don't understand) about my essay, and please explain it to me?

(1)why can't I write "who attending to", why "who attend to" is correct?
(5)It was predicted that (...), the percentage went upward from 2008 to ... : why I have to use past tense, I thought after year 2000, the figures in line graph indicate the future, so I use simple tense and future tense


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