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IELTS TASK 1 The line graph illustrates how much waste produced by three companies from 2000 to 2015

Trang0502 1 / 1  
Feb 23, 2021   #1

The graph below shows the amounts of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years.

The provided line graph illustrates how much waste produced by three companies from 2000 to 2015.
Overall, it is clear that while the amount of waste of com A and B dropped, the figure for com C rose at the end of the period. Furthermore, it can be seen that the period of time from 2000 to 2015 witnessed a significant change in the amount of waste made by com C.

It is noticeable that at the beginning of the period the quantity of waste output by com A was highest, which stood at 12 tonnes, was 1.5 times as much as that of com B and 3 times as much as that of com C.

From that time onwards, the amount of waste produced by com A declined remarkably to 8 tonnes in 2015. Besides, the figure for the waste of com B reached a peak of around 10 tonnes in 2005 before fell to 3 tonnes at the end of the period. In contrast, there was a considerable increase of 6 tonnes (10-4) in that of com C between 2000 and 2015.

I'm practicing IELTS writing. I'm looking forward to receiving your fixing. Thank you so much!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,377 3372  
Feb 23, 2021   #2
While your summary overview is good, it would have been better if you did not create your own abbreviations for keywords in the presentation. Using the word "com" to refer to a company is something only known to you as you did not tell the reader that you would be using that word to refer to the term "company". You will lose and confuse the reader, causing stress as they try to figure out what you mean. It could adversely affect your GRA score since there will be some sort of confusion on the part of the reader.

The second paragraph should be divided into individual sentences. You wrote a run-on, which is just a series of information without proper analysis or presentation in the paragraph. You are scored on clarity and grammar range and accuracy, both of which will suffer when you write using long sentences that could again, confuse the reader and further increase your GRA deductions. The run-on presentation seems to be the main problem of your presentation. Try to practice writing using the proper mix of simple and complex sentences. Run-on sentences do not represent those types of sentences.
OP Trang0502 1 / 1  
Feb 24, 2021   #3
Thank you so much for your feedbacks! I appreciate your advice and I will improve it in the next essays.
Nhungmeow246 1 / 2  
Feb 24, 2021   #4
Well, i think that you should replace "how much" in the first paragraph by " the amount of waste". It would seem more academic. And in the real exam, you should not use "com" to stand for "company"
plamEK16cqt 1 / 3  
Feb 26, 2021   #5
your essay is good with no grammatical mistakes, one plus for that

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