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IELTS Writing Task 1 - Line graph: Radio and TV audiences in UK October - December 1992

ngthuha 6 / 14 5  
Sep 19, 2020   #1

Summarise the information from the graph

The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph compares the differences on the proportion of British people watching TV and listening to the radio in one day over the last 3 months in 1992.

It is clear that more people prefers radio in the morning while many of them spent the evening watching TV. Also, the number of TV viewers are higher than those listening to the radio over the 24-hour period.

In the morning, around 8% of British population started their morning by listening to the radio but none of them choose to watch TV. Over the next 5 hours, the percentage of radio audiences reached a peak of nearly 30% at 9 a.m. and fall steadily from that time whereas the figures for TV viewers remained below 10%.

From 1 p.m., the number of British watching TV significantly rose to approximately at 45% between 8 p.m. to 9 p.m., over 4 times higher than radio listeners at that time. However, both the proportions of radio and TV audiences remained relatively low under 10% by midnight.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,159 3635  
Sep 20, 2020   #2
Do not aim to simply restate the information in the line graph. You must show that you did some sort of analysis for the data provided. Within the rport, you have to make mention of specific keywords int he original image that could prove a true study of the image on your part. That means, you need to write more than 2 sentences per paragraph (3-5 sentences) and no more than 3 paragraphs (for coherence and cohesiveness purposes). Otherwise, you end up writing more words, but you do not create clear ideas in each presentation. While the 4 paragraph essay allows you write more, it clearly isn't an advantage to you as your sentences are run-on presentations which lack the clarity and depth of a properly explained 3 paragraph essay.

For instance, in the summary overview, you missed representing several key elements from the original image such as:
- Measurements excluded those aged 4 and below
- Measurements were in percentages
- Measurements were taken twice in one day. From 6 AM to 12 NN and then again from 2 PM to 6 AM the next day

There are also missing references to overlapping information such as the ones for 1 PM and 3 PM. These time references are highly important to the presentation, instead of mere "hour" references as these prove that you studied the image for at least 5 minutes before you drafted the paper. Additionally, the grouping of the information:

- Summary overview
- Day measurements
- Night measurements

Were the clues that this essay was to be written solely in a 3 paragraph format following the 3-5 sentence per paragraph requirement.
OP ngthuha 6 / 14 5  
Sep 21, 2020   #3
@Holt Glad to receive your feedback. It's really helpful for me to improve my writing skill. Thank you so much!
Eabc 4 / 9 1  
Sep 23, 2020   #4
@ ngthuta
You have many mistakes related to tenses.
"more people prefers" - it should be 'prefer' or 'preferred' because people is plural which should be followed by verb without 's'. Another mistake in the same sentence is that it is not clear whether you are writing the sentence in present simple tense or past tense. It's better you choose any one.

"more people prefers radio ... many of them spent ..." - write either preffered and spent orprefer and spend.

"population started their ... of them choose to watch TV" - start and choose or started and chose.

".... and fall steadily ..." - fell

The above is my personal opinion not expert one. Please correct me if necessary.

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