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IELTS writing task 1 - line graph of waste produced


Jin_KT 1 / 1  
Mar 26, 2019   #1
I'm really thankful when someone helps me improve this essay. Thank you!

Waste statistics



The line graph illustrates how much waste three companies released during a 15 year period from 2000 to 2015. Units are measured in tonnes.
Overall, while the amount of waste produced witnessed a decrease in 2 companies A and B, the opposite was true for the figure for company C.

In 2000, company A held the leading position by releasing 12 tonnes waste while the figures for company B and C were nearly 9 and just above 3 respectively. Over the following 5 years, the amount of waste produced by company A declined slightly by approximately 1. By contrast, both company B and C experienced a moderate rise of nearly 2 in 2005.

The amount of waste released by company A had stood at 11 by 2005 and dropped considerablely by nearly 3 during the following 10 years. In 2005, the figure for company B peaked at nearly 10 before undergoing a dramatical decrease of 7 at the end of period. Meanwhile, a significant climb of 4 was recorded in the amount of waste produced by company C during a 10 year period from 2005 to 2015.




DoctorWho [Contributor] - / 40 23  
Mar 26, 2019   #2
Hey Kim!

You have described the data provided in the line graph with comparison among the three companies but you have failed to mention the data for years 2010 and 2015.

The main errors I find in the essay are grammatical ones. Another thing to consider, is the sentence framework.

Sample correction -

The line graph given below illustrates the amount of waste produced by three companies over a span of 15 years starting from 2000 to 2015. units Waste is are measured in tonnes.

... true for the figures for of company C.

Next time, just go through the whole data once more.
Good Luck! :)
OP Jin_KT 1 / 1  
Apr 4, 2019   #3
@DoctorWho Thanks for your feedback. I divided into 2 periods of time that were 2000-2005 and 2005-2015 for 2 bodies so i didn't mention the data for years 2010. I tried to describe the general trend of each periods cause I thought it would be complex if i mentioned much data. I'll correct my errors. Can u help me distinguish "figure for" and "figure of"? I was taught that "for" was usually attached to "figure". Thanks a lot <3


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