Unanswered [11] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS Writing task 1 - Line graph - Wheat exports


treimnoisett 1 / -  
Jan 16, 2021   #1
Please give me some comments on my essay. Thank you very much!

The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over the three different areas.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.



The above given graph provides information about the changes in exporting wheat from 3 countries through 15 years. As can be seen, the number of wheat exports in Canada had a downward trend when in Australia the tonnes of wheat exports fluctuated and European Community showed an increase.

From 1985 to 1986, there is marginally drop exporting wheat in Canada, by 20 million tonnes to 17 million tonnes. However, the next 20 years witnessed an enormously increase to 25 million tonnes. Canada reached the highest point in 1988, it is also the largest wheat exports in three areas from 1985 to 1990. On the contrary, the number of wheat exports waved dramatically between 25 million tonnes and 15 million tonnes. As the same time, the amount of European Community's exports witnessed a gradually reduction, started at 19 million tonnes to 14.5 million tonnes, and then climbed to 21 million tonnes in 1990. The year 1990 recorded change in the number of wheat exports compared to 1988, when European Community is the top choice to import wheat in other countries. 15 million tonnes were exported from Australia in 1985, and it showed an upward trend in 1986 to 19 million tonnes but then decreased nearly 10 million tonnes from 1987 to 1990.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,364 3367  
Jan 16, 2021   #2
The suggested number of words for this writing task is 150-190 words. There are only 20 minutes for the task which requires you to completely draft, revise, review, edit, review, then finalize the paper before submission. You have to review the paper at least twice to make sure you meet the requirements of the task. In this case, you obviously failed to properly format the paper because you only have 2 paragraphs instead of the normal and required 3 paragraph format for the presentation. What good is writing a lot of words if you will receive more points deductions for improper task completion right?

There is no need to indicate the position of the image. You are to help the reader create a mental image using descriptive words throughout this task presentation. A more identifiable image reference would have been better (The line graph provided...) Insufficient data is presented in the summary. It is missing the summary of information sentence between the identification of the image and the trending statement.

The information about the European community should have been a separate paragraph since it carries more information. It indicates a change in the graph information so you could have used that as the third paragraph to complete the formatting presentation. Actually, the better presentation format would have been to group the information by years so that you have 2 clear sets of related and comparative information. The first set would be 1985,1986, 1987 and the second set would have been 1988,1989, 1990.Clearly separating the information by group year would have made the presentation clearer, easier to follow, and more memorable to the reader. I see that you tried to do it in this presentation, but seem to have gotten confused as to how to properly do it. Next time, mention the exact years rather than saying "20 years" and the like. Definite statements score better than glossed over information.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1 - Line graph - Wheat exports