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'we should live a life of better quality'; high-paying with long working hours or not?


celijy 1 / 1  
Oct 30, 2011   #1
I am currently preparing for a TOEFL test. I would highly appreciate all your comments on my essay below. Thank you very very much! :-)

In our daily life, so many problems are worth considering carefully. As what has been come up with, when it comes to the job choosing, what is your choice? Some people hold the view that it is better to have freedom than better salary, while the others believe that only if we have a better salary can we have a life of better quality, including time arrangement. With all aspects carefully considered, I think a job with short working hours would be a better choice.

Of course, I indeed need a job that will provide my family with financial security, which requires continuous hard work. However, if I have a chance to choose, I would rather be less well paid but with more time to arrange.

Nowadays there is a growing awareness that we should live a life of better quality, which doesn't only mean how much you make but whether you really are happy. As for me,the most important things in my life are my family and friends,and that's the motivation that make me work hard and earn money.A million dollars in the bank doesn't make any sense if I cannot spend time with them.

Also,comparing to a life with a lot of rush and pressure,I prefer to have a easier life with more freedom.Money is important,but we are the ones that take charge of the situation.It would be worth nothing if I cannot have a life that I want but just work as a robot with a lot of money.

Last but not least,always working in the long term doesn't help to keep us in a good health.In fact,that's where so many health problems come from.It is a small issue at first,but if we don't take good care of it,it will become serious and eventually turn into a disease.At that time,we don't have the chance to regret.And the money we've make would be just a scarcism.

Taking all the factors mentioned above into consideration,a low-paying job with shorter hours would be more reasonably treated as a wiser choice.

s_saber 1 / 3  
Oct 31, 2011   #2
In our daily life, so many problems are worth considering (to be considered )carefully. As what has been come up with, when it comes to the job choosing, what is your choice? Some people hold the view that it is better to have freedom than better salary,while the others believe that only if we have a better salary can we have a life of better quality, including time arrangement. With all aspects carefully considered, I think a job with short working hours would be a better choice.

Of course, I indeed need a job that will provide my family with financial security, which requires continuous hard work. However, if I have a chance to choose, I would rather be less well paid but with more time to arrange.

Nowadays there is a growing awareness that we should live a life of better quality (have a life with better quality ), which doesn't only mean how much you make (earn ) but whether you really are happy. As for me,the most important things in my life are my family and friends,and that's the (they are as a )motivation that make me work hard and earn money.A million dollars in the bank doesn't make any sense if I cannot spend time with them.

Also,comparing to a life with a lot of rush and pressure,I prefer to have a easier life with more freedom.Money is important,but we are the ones that take charge of the situation.It would be worth nothing if I cannot (couldnt )(second conditional) have a life that I want but just work as a robot with a lot of money.

Last but not least ,always working in the long term doesn't help to keep us in a good health.In fact,that's where so many health problems come from.It is a small issue at first,but if we don't take good care of it,it will become serious and eventually turn into a disease.At that time,we don't (wont ) have the chance to regret.And the money we've make would be just a scarcism .

Taking all the factors mentioned above into consideration,a low-paying job with shorter hours would be more reasonably treated as a wiser choice.

Hi celi,this is a very good essay and i hope you to be successfull in TOEFL test.But remember if your essay is formal,you must write in indirect form and never use I .
OP celijy 1 / 1  
Oct 31, 2011   #3
Many thanks for your time and help!!! :-)


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