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Live in the same climate or changing climates? Which one do you prefer?


something 23 / 52 5  
Oct 11, 2013   #1
Please help me to correct my essay to improve my writing skill. Thank you.

Some people prefer to live in places that have the same weather or
climate all year long. Others like to live in areas where the weather
changes several times a year. Which do you prefer? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your choice.


There are many places in the world that people would like to settle down. Each place is difference and have it's own value. Some places have climate's diversity and some places are not. In my opinion, I would like to stay in a place which have variety of weather because I could have seen variety of beautiful nature. There would have many activities in that place. I would like to dress up to be suitable for each weather.

First of all, I could enjoy to see wonderful scene in each season. For instance, it is a wonderful scenery to see leaves change color from green to orange and red in fall, it is amusing to see everywhere is clear white in winter, and it is great to see trees and flowers bloom in spring. Therefore, I could enjoy with each season in one place.

Secondly, I could have many activities in a place which have weather change several time in a year. For example, I could skiing in winter, I could swiming in summer, and I could hiking in spring. Thus, I could spend my life to do all activities in one place without spend a lot to do activities in a place which have only one season.

Lastly, I love to have many outfits to wear that is suitable for each season. For example, I would like to wear scarf and winter clothes in winter. I like to wear short pants and sandals in summer. It would be uncomfortable to wear scarf and winter clothes in summer or wear short pants and sandals in winter.

In conclusion, a place that have different weathers in a year attract me to want to stay because a wonderful scenery in each season appeal me to want to spend all my life there. Beside, there are many enjoy activities in one place. Moreover, I love to dress up to fit for each seasons. I would be happy to stay in a place which have variety of weather.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Oct 11, 2013   #2
Each place is difference and have it's own value.

... I find this sentence tends to go out of topic. It does not seem to have relevance to what your prompt suggests. Your writing should always keep alignment with your prompt .
OP something 23 / 52 5  
Oct 11, 2013   #3
Could you please... give me an example to clear this problem, You post the same suggestion on my 3 Threads and I don't know exactly how to make it right.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Oct 11, 2013   #4
Ohhhhhh.... I didn't realize that. :D Well, when I generally check the alignment of the essays with the given prompt and also whether they follow the appropriate structure. When I find they have deviations, I make that recommendation. So, that has what happened with all these 3 essays.

There are many places in the world that people would like to settle down. Each place is difference and have it's own value. Some places have climate's diversity and some places are not. In my opinion, I would like to stay in a place which have variety of weather because I could have seen variety of beautiful nature. There would have many activities in that place. I would like to dress up to be suitable for each weather

... Every sentence in the introduction should have some relevance to your prompt. The one I cut off is not relevant or may be you have not presented in a manner that reader finds it relevant. What are the most important aspects of this prompt? They are climate and people's choices in different climates for living. So give more focus to that. Let's do an introduction following the structure I suggested you;

Climate is an important aspect in the lives of every living being including the humans. (your hook)
Some places experience different climates throughout the year while others places do not experience such climatic diversity and have got rather the same climatic conditions. People's choice's for living also depends accordingly. Some people love to live in places that have changing weathers while others prefer living in the places with same weather. .... (background of the topic)

However, I personally like to experience varying climatic conditions and therefore I would choose such a place for my living. .... your position on the argument. Always conclude your introduction with expressing your opinion. That gives a neat finish to it :)

Hope this helps :)


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