I will live in small village. There are many reasons.

Please help me to correct my essay

Nowadays people like to live in a metro city but If I have a choice, I would prefer to live in small village. The following reasons support my opinion.

First reason is pollution. Many people live in a big city, which increases pollution. There are many reason's for increasing pollution like transportation, industries wastage, dirtiness and so on. All people use cars, buses or train, it increases toxic gas in environment. Transportation releases toxic gas, as well as it creates sound pollution. In a big city industries destroy balance of environment.They leaves wastage in sea or river water. Some people use that polluted water as drinking water. This polluted atmosphere affects people's health. In contrast, we get fresh air and always see greenery in the village.

Second reason is population. Population is also major problem in big city. People get unsufficient water, electricity and so on because of population. Furthermore if we want to pay light bill, phone bill or submit any application, we have to wait for hour's and hour's. In small village will not have these problems.

Third reason is time. time? Is time problem in big city? Yes, it is.
In city everyone is busy and running for achieving something. People work whole day and night for appraisal and salary increment. If people stay far from office or their business location, they leave from home very early in the morning to office, and they come back late at night. They don't have sufficient time to spend for their family. Children always meet father at weekend. If both parents are working then kids stay whole day in daycare.

As a result there is lack of affection among family members and less interaction with relatives and friends.

In conclusion, Although village has less resources, facilities and job opportunities, the small village also has benefits. To spend life in a healthy, peaceful place close to family I would like to live in small village.

Try not repeating the same words over and over again. Also, try completing your statements...many of the statements that you use in your essays are incomplete...try avoiding that, as far as possible. Also, remember one thing...spoken English is pretty much different than written English!

Well, anyways, this one is certainly better than the previous one! Good progress! :D

CIAO!

Dear vaishali1980, I am not sure about corrections I have done but I think:


but my choice is living in a smalle village


The first reason is pollution


Peoples' willing to live in big cities has increased the pollution


Yes, thisit is


from office????? did you mean home???


to spend withtheir family families


there is lack of affection


However a village has less resources and job opportunities , other side has benefits

Thanks Zeinab1383
for correction.

They leave from office early in the morning and come back late at night.

above sentence I have to write like

They leave from home to office early in the morning and come back late at night.

I think that one of the problem in your essay is word repeating. For example, the word "pollution" was repeated 6 times in first body paragraph. You can visit the website thesaurus to find the synonyms for words that you want to replace.

Hi Vaishali, you got some great help here. Let's see a new version with those errors corrected, and we can make additional improvements to your writing.

They leave from home to office early in the morning to go to the office. Then, they come back late at night.
or you can write:
They leave from home early in the morning to go to the office, and they come back late at night.

Nice!!

Nowadays people like to live in a metro city but If I have choice, I would prefer to live in small village. The foll owing reasons to support my opinion.

The first reason is pollution. Many people are living in a big city, which increases pollution.

There are many reason's for increasing pollution like transportation, industries wastage, dirtiness and so on.

All people use cars , buses or trains, which increases toxic gas in environment.

In the big city an industry destroys..
or
In a big city industries destroy the balance of environment. It They leave waste in sea or river water.

He uses,
She uses,
but they use
all of you use
singular uses
plural use...
People is plural.
People use that polluted water as drinking water.

This atmosphere
These atmospheres...
This apple
These apples
(Singular) apple
Plural apples
"these" The word is plural.
Atmosphere is singular.
These This polluted atmosphere affects people's health.

Secondly The second reason is population. Population is also a major problem in a big city.

Population causes distributing limited facilities and resources which people get that insufficient and has to wait in big ques. I don't know what you mean.

For example if we want to pay the light bill, phone bill or submit any application, we have to wait in ques ? for hours and hours. In a small village will not have these problems.

The third reason is time. Time? Is time problem in big city? Yes, it is.---- ha ha, I like it!

In city everyone is busy and running for achieving something. People work throughout the whole day and night for appraisal and salary increases.

People stay far from office.They leave from home vary very early in the morning to go to the office, and they come back late at night.

In conclusion, although a village has less resources, facilities and job opportunities, the other side small village also has benefits. To spend life in a healthy, peaceful place close to family I would like to live in small village.

Okay, go write it with these corrections! :-) You still have a lot of errors. I admire your progress.

Thanks EF_Kevin

Here my rewrite essay

READ ABOVE

Usually you need a comma before and, but, & or. Not always, but usually. If the text on each side could be a complete sentence on its own, use a comma before the conjunction:

Nowadays people like to live in a metro city, but If I have a choice I would prefer to live in small village. ----See how I moved the comma to the left? Now it is after "city" to separate the 2 halves of a compound sentence.

Also, do this:

The first reason...
The second reason...
The third reason...

Do not capitalize "although." In conclusion, although village has ...

Thanks Kelvin

You always trying to correct my mistake. I am making same mistake again and again like use word 'the' before 'first reason' and spelling mistake 'vary'.

Really thanks that I got helped from this forum.