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Our lives has been changed by the Internet significantly in recent years. IELTS task 2


summerlin 5 / 12 2  
Nov 13, 2017   #1
The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effects of this technology has been positive.

What are your opinion on this?


Life in the Era of Internet



Our lives has been changed by the Internet significantly in recent years. Despite some argued that the change have negative impacts to our lives, the others are convinced that the changes have made our lives better. I complete agree with the idea thatthe benefits of the Internet outweigh the drawbacks.

Thanks to the Internet, our lives have became more efficient and convenient than ever before. Withe the help of internet, we are able to send messages to our friends on the other side of the earth by one click instead of waiting for days to receive a greeting. Secondly, it used to gave me headache to figure out the route to my destination regarding driving back and forth on the same intersection just to find a correct direction and spending tons of time to ask for local residents' directing. Travelling is so much easier with online maps nowadays. In addition, back in the time without internet service, it was a complex task to organize a trip. By read through piles and piles of traveling books for months to find out a perfect travel attraction would drained me out. Now, I can just type in few keywords and get all the information I need through the Internet. The best thing about collecting information by internet is the time i need to arrange my trip takes from months to just a couple days to complete. Life has became more efficient and easier because of the Internet.

Despite there are few negative impacts caused by the Internet such as social-isolation and for some people that may result in poor time management because these people spent too much time on internet surfing. There are various social resources can be used to address the problems. And the people being effected are few.

The Internet has changes our lives considerably in recent decades. I once again reaffirm my position that the Internet has positive impact to our lives over all.

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1. Is my grammar correct?
2. Did I use correct punctuation?
3. Did I wrote complex structure sentence correctly?

naseernasrati 14 / 33 10  
Nov 13, 2017   #2
Hi
first of all here are some mistakes that i would like to mention:
1- in the first paragraph, first line (despite some argued ) arguments
2- in the first paragraph, first line (that the change have) changes have
3- in the first paragraph, second line ( i complete agree) i completely agree
4- in the second paragraph, first line(our lives have became) become
5- again in the same line (whithe)
6- on the other side of the world ??? not interesting.
over all i checked two paragraphs and i thing more that it was not necessary because i could understand you.
your grammar and writing is not as good, you need more and more learning grammar and practice
in my opinion this essay is not so academic because you have a lot of mistakes.
try to write carefully and more academically
chinkybehl22 10 / 25 4  
Nov 14, 2017   #3
There are a few grammatical mistakes, which I would like to highlight:-

1st paragraph:-
Our lives has have been changed by ...
... the change have has negative impacts...

2nd paragraph:-
..., our lives have became become more efficient and ...
With the help of the internet, we are...

Secondly, it used to gave give me headache to...

... type in a few keywords ...
Life has became become more efficient ...

3rd paragraph:
And the people being effected affected are few.

4th paragraph:-
The Internet has changes changed our lives ...
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,938 2188  
Nov 14, 2017   #4
Lin, this essay will receive an automatic failing score because you did not discuss the essay in the manner provided by the original prompt. If you review the prompt, you will see that you were being required to create an opinion discussion essay. What you wrote was an agreement/disagreement essay. Those are two different essay discussion formats. If you will look at the following outline, you will see where your mistake came from:

Discussion Basis: Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effects of this technology has been positive.
Original Prompt Instruction: What are your opinion on this?
Your Response: I complete agree with the idea that the benefits of the Internet outweigh the drawbacks.


The proper response to the prompt would have been: My opinion is that the internet has more benefits than drawbacks.

One small mistake regarding your representation of your opinion discussion has forced a prompt change in your discussion, which will result in an altered presentation of the task requirements. Your TA score will be failing and as such, the rest of the scores will also be reduced to non-passing. You cannot be scored accurately on the remaining considerations because you did not show a proper understanding of the prompt in the first place.

My advice to you is this; before you worry about your grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure problems, make sure that you can properly respond to the prompt instructions first. If you cannot understand the discussion you are required to make, having a good grasp of the 3 sections you indicated will not help you to pass the test.


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