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IELTS TASK 2: Living in apartment? Lonely? Not necessarily.

pertiwi02 11 / 8 4  
Jan 6, 2016   #1
Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

These days, many property developers build many apartment towers in metropolitan city. People can choose where they want to stay, houses or residential tower. It is true that living in blocks of flats tends to have less of solidarity. However, others assume that high sense of belonging is showed by high-rise buildings than houses occupant. I totally believe that it influences their characters.

The level of socialization apartment dweller is extremely worse. This is caused by the occupants rarely meet each other even with their next doors. They are very busy person and introvert. For example, when their neighbor get sick or something dangerous happen, usually people do not care each other. They are more likely managing their own affairs. This affects the closeness and kinship reduced among them. As the result, tower block residents have individual character and can do anything by themselves without helping-hand someone.

On the other hand, some people dissent that argument. Actually, people who live in apartment have great sense of relationship. Developers build many best facilities to support the amenities of tall building such as garden, swimming pool and other facilities. Take an example, the households can make regular social gathering in garden or children want to swim and they can meet with other neighbors. Due to these activities, they are more closeness and make a better relationship. The facilities that have been built will not be useless and give more benefit for the occupants.

To conclude, while a lot of citizens claim that great solidarity experience is showed by apartment inhabitant, I would argue that they will have lack of attitudes for the community in the real life.

jvishal 4 / 7 1  
Jan 7, 2016   #2
Hi I would like to outline some broad points. @vangiespen has done a great job in cleaning up the essay and making it more presentable.

1. The first paragraph, last line could have been " I totally believe that it influences their character s personality" . In my opinion its coherent with the paragraph and sounds better.

2. You could have presented a counter to counter-argument in the third paragraph.This would have put more emphasis on your stand.
3. Conclusion as suggested, could have been strengthened a bit.

All in all, good job !!, essay was understandable and logically coherent.

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