Question: Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.
To what extend you you agree or disagree with this statement.
adapt to new environment by learning local language
Nowadays, there has been a trend in which people tend to go abroad to study and work. As a result, they must speak a foreign language. Some people argue that speaking a language other than a person's mother tongue may lead to some worth-considering social problems as well as practical problems. I totally agree with this statement.
One of the biggest difficulties of immigrants living overseas is language barriers. If a person is incapable of speaking the widely-used language in a country, he is likely to face troubles immersing himself into the new environment. He may find himself helpless and un able to deal with daily simple activities such as talking with neighbors, going shopping, contacting banks and local governments. In addition, the lack of foreign language ability may possibly result in misunderstanding or even cultural conflicts which may marginalize him from the local society. Even worse, some people even violate local regulations because of their illiteracy, they cannot read and understand the regulations to follow the rules.
In addition, poor verbal and written communication in the foreign language may be the main cause of high rate of unemployment among immigrants. A vast majority of immigrants cannot apply for high-paid decent jobs since most of these jobs requires language competence. Also, illiteracy and language misunderstanding may lead to mental health problems such as stress and depression. Therefore, language plays a crucial part in enabling a person to integrate into a new environment.
In conclusion, to adapt to new environment well, immigrants should be able to communicate well in the language spoken in their localities. Lack of foreign language ability may cause multiple troubles to any person living in a foreign country. Therefore, before deciding to relocate in a foreign country, people should learn the language beforehand.
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Crystal, all of your reasoning paragraphs only present talking points but no actual explanation of the talking points. These presentations will be seen as contributing to the under development of your essay response and as such, will be seen as the cause of the lack of coherence and cohesiveness in the paragraph presentations. The end result will be a lowered C&C score. To avoid the lowering of the C&C score, avoid presenting multiple reasons next time. Just present one discussion topic then fully explain and support that topic within the remaining 4 sentences, there are after all, 5 sentence allotted per paragraph.
The concluding paragraph you used was a suggestion on how language barriers can be overcome. That is not a requirement of the prompt and will be seen as a prompt deviation, causing you to have a lower than the minimum word count. There will be points deducted for that deviation. You should only summarize the prompt and reasoning paragraphs in the concluding summary, ending it with a closing sentence. In this instance, you presented a hanging discussion as it does not properly sum up the discussion points based on the required presentation.
The essay has potential. Your writing shows a clear understanding of the English language and an extensive vocabulary. You just had a tendency to under discuss and also present an unwarranted opinion. These errors can affect your final score so avoid these mistakes in the future.