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'living without parents can give freedom' - TOEFL Essay


vickey 9 / 18  
Jun 2, 2012   #1
Question: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a long time. Which of these situations do you think better?

It is controversial issue that whether young adults live alone or live with their parents. Most of young adults want to independence from their parents as soon as possible. However, it is not easy for them unless if they are ready for being alone. If I have two options, I would say that I want to live with my family as long as I can because of following reasons; it can save my money, and it is safer than living without my parents.

First of all, living with parents can save money. If someone live alone, he has to pay extra money such as room rental fee, living expenses. If he lives with his family, he does not have to pay. I had to live alone because my university was so far from my parents house. At that time, I had to depend on my parents financial aid. It gave too much burden to my parents. I started to work but it was not enough for me since half it had to be spent for paying my rent fee. Comparing my friends who live with their parents, I spent as twice as they did.

Secondly, it is safer.Safeness does not only mean physically but also mentally. Especially for woman, living alone is too dangerous because the world is getting cruel. Too serious criminals are happened around us. Moreover, we can keep our healthy life easily if we live with our parents. Cooking at home is very difficult especially for the person who just started live alone. We can eat healthy home-made cooking everyday, and be taken care by our parents whenever we are very sick. Living without parents means we have to deal with everything by ourselves. For young adults, it could be dangerous because they are prone to be allured by junk food, bad life pattern, and bad people.

It is true that living without parents can give freedom and protect privacy life. However, we have to compensate for that. We have to be free from parents pocket money and we have to control ourselves from any other situation. We need span for preparing to be alone.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 2, 2012   #2
Most of young adults want to independence from their parents as soon as possible. However, it is not easy for them unless if they are ready for beingmanaging things on there ownalone .

because of the following reasons

First of all, living with parents can save moneycosts . If someone lives alone, he has to payspend extra money such as room rental fee,accommodation and living expenses.

It gavecreated too much burden toon my parents.

since half of it had to be spent for paying my rent fee.

Comparinged to my friends who lived with their parents, I spent as twice as they did.

Especially for a woman, living alone is too dangerous because the world is getting cruel.more and more violent and unsafe.TooMany serious criminalscrimesare happened around us.

Safenessty does not only mean physically but also mentally.
Cooking at home is very difficult especially for the person who just started liveing alone.

We can eat healthy home-made cookingcooked food everyday (no comma here) and be taken cared by our parents whenever we are very sick.

Good ideas and examples... if you pay more attention to grammar and organization of your ideas and structure, you can go for a flying score :)

Good Luck!!!!!!!
OP vickey 9 / 18  
Jun 3, 2012   #3
Thanks Duminda!!
I corrected my essay as you mentioned. Thank you so much!

I am really appreciated !

It is controversial issue that whether young adults live alone or live with their parents. Most of young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. However, it is not easy for them unless if they are ready for being alone. If I have two options, I would say that I want to live with my family as long as I can because of the following reasons; it can save my money, and it is safer than living without my parents.

First of all, living with parents can save cost. If someone lives alone, he has to pay extra money such as accommodation, living expenses. If he lives with his family, he does not have to pay. I had to live alone because my university was so far from my parents house. At that time, I had to depend on my parents financial aid. It gave too much burden to my parents. I started to work but it was not enough for me since half of it had to be spent for paying my rent fee. Compared to my friends who live with their parents, I spent as twice as they did.

Secondly, it is safer. Safety does not only mean physically but also mentally. Especially for a woman, living alone is too dangerous because the world is getting more and more violent and unsafe. Many serious crimes happened around us. Moreover, we can keep our healthy life easily if we live with our parents. Cooking at home is very difficult especially for the person who just started living alone. We can eat healthy home cooked food everyday and be taken cared by our parents whenever we are sick. Living without parents means we have to deal with everything by ourselves. For young adults, it could be dangerous because they are prone to be allured by junk food, bad life pattern, and bad people.

It is true that living without parents can give freedom and protect privacy life. However, we have to compensate for that. We have to be free from parents pocket money and we have to control ourselves from any other situation. We need span for preparing to be alone.
marikoshka888 1 / 1  
Jun 3, 2012   #4
hi everyone!
I'm a new member on this forum. I'm preparing for examination so i hope you will help me to get high score.

and... may I write my essay under this topic or is it better create a new one?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 4, 2012   #5
Hi Mari Koshka,

Yes.... you should start your own thread and you cannot post essays in other's threads... It doesn't matter you write under the same topic.... Looking forward to reading your essay :)


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