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Living In My Sister's Shadow

btaylor7355 1 / -  
Aug 31, 2017   #1

my older sister and me

" Your sister set high expectations for you" was all I heard throughout my whole life. I spent my whole childhood and school years trying to live up to my sister's expectations. I wanted to be like her so bad I realized I was losing myself during the process. My sister was top ten, Treasury in Student Council, all A's, graduated with a 4.0 Gpa in her graduating class. Meanwhile i'm trying to figure out how to live up to those expectations.

My only older sister and I were always opposites,she is loud, outgoing, opinionated, while I hate voicing my opinions. She is good at math and writing, while I'm good at cooking and can't understand math. Even though we had our differences, I spent my childhood as the sister who was always misbehaving, getting in trouble, and didn't have good grades. I received in school suspension because I thought it was a good idea to start a food fight in the cafeteria. Also knowing I would, earn the " be more like your sister" speech and that's the reason I always got in trouble. I didn't know how to express my anger so it builded up until one day I exploded and rebelled . I always stayed grounded because I couldn't stay out of trouble, using vulgar language, detentions (everyday), and started getting into arguments and fights.

I looked up to my sister growing up I wanted to be Just like her she was the smartest person I knew. We are only one year apart so I wanted to be close to her. I would do everything she did including hanging out with her friends, trying to go places with her, work at the same job as her, and everything. I know she was annoyed with me being around all the time but apparently I couldn't take a hint.

I was excited to follow in her footsteps in the beginning, she was my role model for everything like getting good grades or praise of my accomplishments: I wanted everything she had. The problem was I was trying to fit in somewhere I didn't belong. It wasn't until high school that i realized I should try to be my own person and stop trying to be somebody i'm not. Me and my sister are close but I realize that we are two different people. My mom tells me " I never expect you to be like your sister, I want you to be yourself because i'm proud of you no matter what". That's when I started to be my own person. Now i'm a Senior about to graduate and major in something I love which is Culinary Arts. I won't fib and say anxiety doesn't creep up to be like my sister but I remember that I am Banita Taylor and I learned to accept that me and my sister are two different people and that's okay. This reflects the person I am today because I learned to accept to be the person I am and not compare myself to anybody else because there is only one me. My friends, my grades , my achievement,and dreams reflect Banit Taylor because that's who I am.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,883 2165  
Sep 1, 2017   #2
Banit, this is a pretty good essay. It just lacks a balancing factor in the middle. Something that says your parents knew you were a "rebel without a cause" so to speak and tried to help you understand that you didn't have to be the opposite of your sister for attention or to gain friends. If your mother was the one who told you that she would love you no matter what, then who was the one who told you that your sister had set "high expectations" for you? You need to be clear about who that person was and why the words coming from that person affected you in such a manner. That way, a balance is created in the essay and shows that you were not a rebel because you wanted to be, but because someone had set unfair expectations upon you. Rather than sounding so negative about yourself throughout the essay, why don't you try and explain the points that made you different and somehow, still let you shine in the shadow of your sister? Since this is an essay for culinary school, then highlight how cooking helped you get out of your sister's shadow and allowed you find who you are and who you want to be other than a clone of your sister.

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