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Lofty tax and significant improvement of public transportation as a solution for too many cars

Jul 30, 2016   #1
More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time.

Car is tertiary sector in people's lives. Yet, it will become the primary need of some people in developing countries. This phenomenon leads to the increasing of first car's quantity that could bring various problems to the human survival.

In developing country, the purchasing of first car is incrementally rising. Initially, traffic density will be increasing unless the number of cars is corresponding to restructuring of road that can cause developing congestion. Hazardous exhaust fumes that are generated by motor vehicles could also bring detrimental effects to the environment such as depletion of ozone layer caused by interaction between exhaust gas and trioxygen and trapped gas that could trigger greenhouse effect. In any case, According to experts, transportation consumes 27% of energy uses in the world that the most common energy used is fossil fuel which means excessive consumption of energy.

That being said, the role of government is needed to tackle this issue. Firstly, tax of private car should be reviewed and heightened by the officials as high tax of private automobiles can lead to reduction of auto's quantity. Eventually, Improvement in the quality and quantity of public transportation is required due to the fact that Affordability and availability of public transportation push back the number of people who commute using private vehicle. For instance, the commuter train should be cheap and comfortable instead of the number of train should be added.

To sum up, inhabitants buys the first automobile based on the needs or lifestyles in developing countries. Some actions could have been taken by the government in order to solve the problems that are generated by excessive car usage. Therefore, lofty tax of vehicle and significant improvement of public transportation's quality and quantity could maintain or even diminish the first cars purchasing.

ramzi06 9 / 17 4  
Jul 30, 2016   #2
Greetings Mr. Defry,
Just share something that come up in my mind, don't forget to correct me if I made mistakes

The flow of your essay is interestingly presented. Also the usage of rare vocabularies on each paragraph are, in my opinion, are accurate and lift the essay level into the high level category. However, some words may used inappropriate take for example like this :.

Introduction :
Yet, it will become (perhaps just use Becomes ) the primary need of some people in developing countries

Paragraph 3 :
you mention the words "firstly" but in the next sentences, the connection word suddenly change into eventually,
perhaps it is better to remove words "firstly" or may use any other appropriate connection sentences,,

That's all, thanks.

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