Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Long-distance flight consumes more resources and pollutes more than cars


zhixiang 1 / 1  
Jan 23, 2011   #1
Topic: Long-distance flight consumes more resources and produces more pollution. Some people think they should be banned and we should use cars instead. To what extent do you agree?

I do not support the point of view of the topic above. In my opinion, the airplane is a symbol of the modern society, it represent the development of technology and progress of civilization. The long-distance flight bring us a huge convenient of travelling all around the world and saving us many precious time. For example, travelling from Beijing to New York, the long-distance flight can achieve this goal easily, in the opposite side, if we drive car that is hardly to arrive the destination.

In addition, we cannot deny that long-distance flight has been polluted air and consumes amount number of petroleum, and even it is one of the factors to lead the greenhouse effect. Airplane also produce the noise pollution, these factors all damage the environment and influence our health to some extent. However, cars also make harms as the same way as aircraft do. The gases emitted by tailpipes of cars which made our air of urban become muddy conditions it hurt our breathing directly. But the airplane produced the pollutions are thousands mile far from us, it won't injury our health directly, at least making less damage to our health.

In generally, both cars and the long-distance flight have its own advantages. It is difficult to say which one is better. For the short-distance and medium-distance driving, people can enjoy the fun of driving to a place where they fond of, in this cases, cars appear to be more flexible and convenient. However, for the long-distance trip, the flight seems more quickly and comfortable. So the relationship between long-distance flight and cars should be complementary to each other instead of forbid the flight and use cars to take the place of it.
Chim Can Cook 10 / 23  
Jan 23, 2011   #2
-In my opinion, the airplane is a symbol of the modern society, it represent (represents)thedevelopment of technology and progress of civilization.
-The long-distance flight bring(brings) us a huge convenient(convenience) of ..
-many(much) precious time
- arrive (at)the destination.
-one of the factors to lead(leading to) the greenhouse effect
-Airplane also produce (produces)
-make harms -> weird expression

-The gases emitted by tailpipes of cars which made our air of urban become muddy conditions it hurt our breathing directly.-> confused, i don't get what you mean

-it won't injury(injure) our health directly
-a place where they fond of -> the place they are fond of

Your essay seems to be short. Your essay is supposed to have at least three supporting points.
OP zhixiang 1 / 1  
Jan 25, 2011   #3
Thanks for you corrention Chim. I often make some grammar misktakes, it is helpful for me
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Jan 29, 2011   #4
If you have time, make a new draft and use the corrections offered here.

In addition to what Hoang Lam said, I see that this is a run on sentence:
In my opinion, the airplane is a symbol of the modern society. It represents the development of technology and progress of civilization. --I fixed it!

In addition, we cannot deny that long-distance flight has been polluted polluting and consuming a lot of petroleum, and it is even one of the factors that leads the greenhouse effect.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / Long-distance flight consumes more resources and pollutes more than cars
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳