IELTS Task 2 : Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In the ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

Sustaining to live full and active lives in elderly people can be obtained from the breakthrough of health and longer life duration. From such a phenomena, I totally sure that they can contribute to their circumstances. In this essay, I would like to point out two ways in which such people can gain advantages from such an interest, such as involving in family's occasions and consulting group.

Engaging into family's certain event is one of the approaches that old people can give benefits. They can show unique traditional games or sports in particular area for young people. If they love cooking, they may also train how to cook tasteful typical food in such a region. Valuable moral values can also be delivered to people who still do not know about attitude. Those examples are reasonable since they lived in the era that recent people still do not exist.

In addition, becoming involved in consulting association is one of the most beneficial ways. Old people can take into account in such an association based on their education background. According to such a method, some retired people are able to criticize the current politics while others might give several suggestions. Those who have experience about environment also could present great solutions to present-day problems related to their knowledge.

To sum up, cutting-edge health and longer life spans can make old people to pursuing their live fully and actively. While joining consulting affiliation is one of the most appropriate ways, taking on family's exclusive situation is also one of the ways to contribute.

hallo Mr. Mahdi
it's nice to read your essay and here some suggestions fo you

Sustaining to live full and active lives in elderly people can be obtained......
it should be better if you try to use other words
Sustaining life fully and actively in elderly people can be obtained .....

.....such as involving in family's occasions and consulting group
it's better to add an article or make it as a plural noun

it is a good essay
but i think you need to explain some arguments although you are fully agree with the given idea