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It is no longer necessary to use animal as food or to use animal products.

iamktrang 1 / -  
Apr 2, 2020   #1

using animals in an industry

In our modern world, many people claim that products made by animals such as foods, clothing or medicines are no longer need because of the improvement of high technology. From my point of view, I disagree with this idea. Even so, the advancements in science help people to reduce using animals in the clothing industry.

Firstly, let us take a look at the production of food and medicines from animals. Meat not only makes up a large proportion of numerous delicious dishes but also is an essential source of various vital nutrients. It is easily collected from hunting or farming. If humans stop eating meat, we have to give up our culinary elite and start eating only vegetables which is simply impossible. Furthermore, animals are ideal research subjects because of their biologically similar to humans and some health problems. Animals are necessary to develop drugs and medical procedures to treat diseases. Scientists do experiments on animals in advance to make sure that it is a safe and effective way for people. It is impractical and unethical to study humans.

However, the demand of animals in the clothing sector can be decreasing thanks to the inventions of new artificial materials. Historically, humans hunted and farmed many animal species for only their fur or skin to make clothing items or accessories. At present, humans can use alternative materials such as synthetic wool or artificial leather.

To sum up, humans' request for using animals nowadays is still enormous, especially in the food and pharmaceutical sector. Nevertheless, we can decline the use of animals thanks to scientific reform and it has been proved in the clothing industry.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,532 2963  
Apr 3, 2020   #2
Your stance in the actual discussion is unclear. The essay requires the defense of only one stance in the essay. However, you seem to be constantly trying to defend two points of view in the essay even as you say that you disagree with the given statement. It is either you agree that people no longer need to use animals for food and clothing products, or you agree that humans need to use animals for their clothes and food. Your sentences, due to the problem with the sentence formation make it difficult to understand your actual explanation. In addition to that, the discussion format is incorrect as you are doing a comparative discussion in a single opinion essay. Therefore, the essay will not score well enough to get a passing score. You have to work on your sentence formation problems first. Learn how to write clear, understandable, and simple English sentences. At the moment, your sentences are too confusing to be able to understand due to incorrect vocabulary usage. You also need to learn to separate your discussion topics into paragraphs. One topic sentence per paragraph. each paragraph should not be more than 5 sentences and must have a clear discussion presented that connects with the next discussion topic, in the next paragraph.

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