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A lot of cultures worldwide obligate married women to stay at home to look after the children


david2708 2 / 3 2  
Jan 26, 2016   #1
Married woman should give up their jobs to look after their children. What are your views on this.

Woman has always been portrayed in almost every culture worldwide as a warm and loving individual whose most sacred duty is to look after her children. As such, a lot of cultures worldwide obligate married women to stay at home to look after the children, even if they have to give up their jobs. In my opinion, married women should not give up their jobs for three important reasons.

Firstly, a working wife will give the family more financial security and flexibility. If both the husband and wife in a family work, the family will not be completely reliant on the husband to cover the family's expenses. This is especially true in big cities such as Singapore and Jakarta, where living cost have skyrocketed in the last decade. Having two sources of income in a family will give the family financial flexibility that would otherwise be almost impossible to attain. This financial flexibility will open up more opportunities for the children to explore and develop their talent. For example, with two income earners in the family, a middle income family will be able to afford piano courses for their children, which is unlikely to attain in a family with single income .

Secondly, forcing married women to give up their jobs means underutilizing these women's creativity and intelligence. Some argued that women's creativity and intelligence can be applied to raise their children well. but I believe confining them to such a domestic affair means wasting millions of talented individuals who can have greater impact on the society. Marie Curie, Helen Keller, and Margaret Thatcher are just a few examples of women who had given a great impact on the world through their brilliant minds.

However, people who argue that married women should give up their jobs to look after their children are not without their reasons. They argue that, without full-time accompaniment from their mothers, the children's psychology may not be well developed. They also argue that children that do not find full time accompany from their mothers may be felt abundant, and be saperated from the family, because they are not in close contact with both of their parents when growing up.

In conclusion, it is obvious that married women should not give up their jobs to look after their children. It is because a working wife will give the family more financial security and flexibility and forcing women to give up their jobs means underutilizing these women's creativity and intelligence.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 26, 2016   #2
You have written a pretty solid discussion of the prompt you were provided with. Save for some grammar issues, the way that you developed the essay will be sure to garner you the highest possible marks for this type of essay. It will definitely score better than just passing. Now, that said, I should get to correcting your grammar errors for your future reference.

Woman WOMEN has HAVE always been portrayed in almost every culture worldwide as a warm and loving individualS whose most ... As such, a lot NUMBER of cultures worldwide obligate OBLIGE married women ...

... . where THE COST OF living costhave HAS skyrocketed in the last decade....
- Aside from the discussion as to how two salaries in a family can benefit a child, why not also discuss the way that two incomes helps secure the family's financial future in case of emergencies or household needs?

... means under-utilizing these women's creativity and intelligence. Some argued that ... to raise RAISING their children well. but I believe ... can haveA greater impact on the society. Marie Curie, Helen Keller, and Margaret Thatcher are just a few examples of women who had given a great impact on the world through their brilliant minds AND STILL MANAGED TO RAISE A FAMILY AT THE SAME TIME.

... the children's psychology PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS may not be well developed. They also argue that children that do not find full time accompany from their mothers may be felt abundant, and be saperated from the family, because they are not in close contact with both of their parents when growing up. THEY ALSO ARGUE THAT CHILDREN WHO DO NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH THEIR MOTHERS FEEL ABANDONED AND SEPARATED FROM THEIR FAMILY WHILE GROWING UP.

... give up their jobs means under-utilizing these women's creativity and intelligence.
pao123 2 / 2 1  
Jan 27, 2016   #3
the discussion presented mentions you having three reasons...
Firstly, a working wife will give the family more financial security and flexibility....
Secondly, forcing married women to give up their jobs means underutilizing under-utilizing these women's creativity and intelligence....
i suggest to strike out firstly and secondly since there is no third reason stated......and state the points in straight away in essay form.

..........married women should not give up their jobs for three these important reasons.

there is also a slight grammatical error saperated ...separated
....It is because a working wife will give gives the family more financial security and ....


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