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TOEFL- love marriage versus arranged marriage.


Dande 4 / 6  
Sep 21, 2011   #1
I have just signed in as a new member; hopefully I will improve my writing with your help :) This is my first attempt here, many thanks for feedback!

Arranged Marriage vs Love Marriage



Marriage is regarded as a precious relationship that every individual long for throughout life. In some countries, belief has it acceptably that the young must have their marital relations arranged by parents in hope for leading a decent life in terms of both welfare and social status. However, I, personally think a wedding with love brings about good things other than merely a transaction under the banner of marriage.

For one thing, couples living together for love are more likely to protect happiness permanently. In actually, undergoing a prolonged period of courtship enables a male and a female time to entirely understand each other, notably their positive things and weaknesses. A typical example could be a friend of mine who at the moment enjoys a happy family life with her boyfriend of five years. She asserts that getting along well with her fiance was of great importance, allowing her to conceive how the marriage would be and stamp out dangerous illusions about unrealistic romantics. Hence, love and essential preparations from both parties create a guarantee of a lasting happiness.

Aside from the happiness, respect and appreciation are crucial elements which collectively usher in a perfect marriage. It is because they come to each other drawing on a mutual understanding, in an ongoing attempt to build a happy life that spouses are willing to sacrifice his or her self-esteem for the protection of happiness. Also, there would not exist severe cases like domestic violence or divorce. Undoubtedly, equally caring instead of shouldering all duties on a particular one make great sense to marriage.

Another crucial reason as to why my marriage determination should be made on my own is that I have the right to be responsible for my life. The idea that the new generations should pursue our own dreams and follow whatever is right, as long as they do not go beyond moral borders is precisely what the society always clamor. This notion also holds the truth with marital decisions which should be carried on according to the consensus between the couples getting married.

In conclusion, listening to the heart and arriving at one's own matrimonial determination is what individuals should take into consideration. Not only does it consolidate the long-term relationship with happiness and respect, marrying the one I love also reflect my dreams and confidence.

WBStudent 2 / 4  
Sep 21, 2011   #2
You make some fantastic points regarding love marriage! I like how you talk about the extended courtship process and give a specific example. My only piece of advice would be to discuss arranged marriages as well. The prompt that you gave, asks to discuss both systems while you only discussed primarily about love marriage. But overall, fantastic job!
tocollegeigo 1 / 2  
Sep 21, 2011   #3
i will CAP anything that i change
young must have their marital relations arranged by THEIR parents

However, I personally think a NO COMMA

She asserts that getting along well with her fiance IS of great importance

crucial reason as to why my marriage DETERMINATION should : NEED TO CHANGE THAT WORD, CANT THINK OF ANOTHER, SORRY

very good essay, goes very deep and good proper english
OP Dande 4 / 6  
Sep 22, 2011   #4
How careless I am! I didnt notice much the prompt. Thanks a lot for all comments :)


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