Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7


TOEFL - the main point is to be sure if we can pay a loan or not


abc1400 17 / 32  
Jul 2, 2011   #1
Having friend is important, but more important than that is you keep and have good relationship with them. Also these days money play an important role in our lives. It is a big problem to borrow money from your friends because I think borrowing money from friends can harm this relationship.

First of all, friendship is a two way road and both side of this relation have some expectations from each other. For example if my friend borrowed me some money, he expected that I would return that money before its deadline and if I did not do that, he would have some bad thoughts about me.

Secondly, Money is vital these days. Maybe your friend that borrowed you that money does not have good financial conditions and he anticipate you to turn back that money as soon as possible.

In spite of this, your friend is the easiest way to borrow money. because they can borrow you money without run boring business processes. Also we have friend to use their helps in this type of situations.

I think the main point is to sure that we can pay of loan or not. And never borrow money from our friends because friendship is more significant than money.
linh202 11 / 23  
Jul 2, 2011   #2
Also these days money playplays an important role in our lives. It is a big problem to borrow money from your friends because I think borrowing money from friends this can harm thisyour relationship.

For example if my friend borrowedlent me some money, he expected that I would return that money before its deadline and if I did not do that, he would have some bad thoughts about me

I thinks you should add some details and idea. Your essay is quite short
OP abc1400 17 / 32  
Jul 2, 2011   #3
Thank you very much linh202 for your consideration!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 4, 2011   #4
Welcome to EssayForum, abc!!

Use a hyphen:
two-way

let's see another draft. Write a new draft, and include these corrections. Then, we'll see if you have any more errors.

***Remember to capitalize the fist word of every sentence!!

:-)
winniesun 9 / 19  
Jul 5, 2011   #5
It's true.. Two friends of my mom broke their relationship because of the money. It's such a poor. It seem like money can do anything. Even can harm friendship!
lisette 2 / 5  
Jul 7, 2011   #6
Ur essay is too short for toefl.
U should add examples or something to support ur point.
If u want to get a higher score, use the although structure in the last paragraph
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 9, 2011   #7
It seem like money can do anything. Even can harm friendship!

It seems like money can do anything, even can harm friendship!---I corrected the grammar.

It's not money that does harm. It's fear. Having money alleviates fear. If you are fearless, money cannot ruin your friendships.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL - the main point is to be sure if we can pay a loan or not
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳