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[IELTS Task 1] The main reasons for study among students of different age groups

hi021132 6 / 11 4  
Jul 21, 2017   #1
The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

the road from study to work

The first bar chart illustrates the motivations for students in various age classes to study while the second one provides information about support offered by employers across different ages.

In general, young students tended to learn for career whereas older students pursued studies for the sake of interest. In addition, employers preferred to support students who were under 26 years old.

It is apparent that career is a critical driving factor for students under 40 years old to study. There were almost 80% and around 70% of students aged below 26 and 26 to 29 respectively admitted that career was the reason for them to have higher education qualification. Even though the figure of age group 30 to 39 was lower, the share of people in this group agreed with studying for career still exceeded the half of total portion of this group. In contrast, less than one third of respondents claimed that their own interest encouraged them to study further. The situation reversed at the group of 40 to 49 in which the number of interviewees claims they learnt for career and interest which were the same were 40%. In the group of over 49, more than two thirds of respondents stated that interest was their stimulus to study.

As for support from employer, the age group of below 26 was most likely to receive support from their employers. Over 60% of students aged lower than 26 were supported by employers. However, students aged 30 to 39 had the lowest probability to receive help which was about one third of total. This figures increased slightly for students in their forties and above. (273 words)

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,034 2722  
Jul 21, 2017   #2
Peter in terms of a summary overview, you could have had a better presentation if you had actually indicated the age groups that were to be presented. After all, the age groups are part of the comparison portion between student rate and employer support rate. That way, the outline of the discussion would have been better provided and the reader would have had a clearer idea as to what the discussion coverage was. In your last paragraph, you should have used a more affirmative tone rather than a supposing point of view in terms of the age of 30-39 having a "probability" factor because the graph was pretty specific about employers withholding financial support for studies of employees beyond that age range. In fact, I believe that you could have instead used the term "estimate" or "estimated" because there was still a degree of support for that age range indicated in the bar chart. The presentation should have positively indicated that "Employers gave minimal support to employees between the ages of 30-39 at an average 40%. The lowest employer support percentage in the chart."

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