I think that maybe I have sth wrong
OMG.. finally took the time to search what sth meant. stupid me. sth=something >_>
academic education has become a great issue
My reasons are as following.
rather weak transition. maybe try presenting what you want to talk about later briefly in this paragraph.
acquire theories in the beginning
what do you mean by theories? understanding of material? the main ideas? and in the beginning of what?
If students do not gain any basic knowledge in their field, it may lead them run in to difficulties before they start to do their own projects.
Use a "If..., then..." pattern if you use "if..." ; "If..., then they may run into difficulties when they start doing their own projects."
I majored in the computer science
I did not know what
cancould I do andnot how canhow I do anything .
my basic views in computer science.
what do you mean by views? that it should remain simplistic? multi-structured? complex? or do you mean basic knowledge/understanding?
Therefore, I can find the way and do a great job as better as I can.
What do you mean? that by reading you found a way? and do a better job?
they are freshmen in businesses
not freshmen. beginners in business*
Although I, for example, will hunt my work which is related to computer science, it can not say that the work what I do that I've learn.
For example although I will hunt for work related to CS, I cannot say that the work I do will involve what I learn.*
they will lose their
"If...then..." again. they may lose*
using academic knowledge to create the real things is students' final goal.
What do you mean?
Conclusion can use some touch up. Make sure you say your main point earlier. It's somewhat hard to follow your logic. What I came to understand was that although its necessary to learn practical skills, universities should give their students more knowledge based information and theory so that these students can adapt to new jobs?? I don't know.. sounds contradictory at times. I thought that it's better to have practical experience that although you may not use what you learn, you have that experience to use elsewhere...but your opinion is fine..just make your points clearer.Again, work on intro and conclusion to strengthen your point.