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What is the major benefit of an international cooperation? Correct my essay

kirin 4 / 7  
Apr 17, 2009   #1
Topic: some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in protection of the environment. While other think that the main benefits in the world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A widely accepted consciousness has been achieved since the international cooperation aims at the crucial issues worldwide, such as poverty, starvation, environmental protection, terrorism. However, many argue, when it comes to the world business, whether it is the profit the international cooperation has brought.

When dealing with the essential issues, take the environmental problems for example, which connects each one's daily life in poor or wealthy countries, international cooperation does contribute a lot, not only in terms of actions which have been taken but in terms of influence that has been generated. Thanks to the work done by the international cooperation, the problem, attracting much more public attention, can be much more easily and effectively controlled and solved when put onto the world stage. More and more corporations devoting in the field of environment set a powerful example for other problems that can not be well handled currently; but at least here comes a reference.

A truth can not explain every fact perfectly, when taking into account that the role international cooperation has played in world business. Economic globalization, making most enterprises enlarge their market worldwide, did bring a dramatic boom of world economy and lift people's living standard to a higher level. But the trend did not continue, accompanied with the increasing gap between the rich and the poor, the constant bankrupt of small companies, especially those people industries facing the strike of well-known international business empire.

All too often, we have seen and continue to see that good aims generate bad consequences. International cooperation is definitely beneficial, not only the wide impact on the world but the resource raised for different problems. But there should be some measures or policies to inhibit the cooperation to make better use of the good resource.

To sum up, international cooperation can do a better job in different world issues, only by controlled within some powerful and reasonable range, thus many problems which can not worked out today may expect a bright tomorrow.

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thanks to you all, waiting for your feedback!!!
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Apr 18, 2009   #2
Aside from the grammatical issues, your essay suffers from a lack of clarity about just what you mean by international cooperation. I would have thought that, without any other context given, it referred to cooperation among nations; that is, cooperation between national governments. What does this have to do with corporations, whether they devote themselves to protecting the environment or ravage it for profits? Your third paragraph seems to deal more with the advantages and disadvantages of globalization, which is a related concept to be sure, but not the one you are supposed to be discussing. So, to improve, I would suggest you do two things. First, define "international cooperation" in your introduction. Second, give specific examples of governments (or corporations, or NGOs, or whatever entities you set yourself up to discuss when you defined international cooperation) that have cooperated with each other. This should ground your essay and give it a clear and focused argument. Then post your revised draft here for grammatical feedback.
Koit 2 / 7  
Apr 7, 2013   #3
Essay on cooperation on countries (politically/militarily/economically)

I need help on an intro paragraph for an essay I need to write tomorrow on the cooperation of countries politically, militarily, and economically... Please help I know this is last minute but I really struggle in writing sometimes and my grade has really been showing it lately... Any ideas would be appreciated!!!
ryoga 2 / 5  
Apr 7, 2013   #4
Well, you could start off by creating a thesis. Like instead of going too broad, you use four different countries from different parts of the globe. For example, "In today's global society, many countries, such as North America, Europe, Australia, and Asia, work together in order to solve the economic, political, and militant problems by making new regulatory laws, world summits, and assisting in worldwide warfare." And go from there.

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