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The major environmental issue of our time is the extinction of many living creatures on earth


trangntt255 1 / -  
Jun 15, 2021   #1

the loss of particular species



Controversy surrounding the environmental problem never seems to cease. While many individuals believe/opine that the major environmental issue of our time is the extinction of any living creature on earth. Others assert that there are even more crucial problems to be concerned about. While I agree that reduced biodiversity is a serious problem, I believe that we are facing more pressing environmental concerns.

On the one hand, many people are of the opinion that the extinction of animal species is the main environmental problem. It is true that biodiversity plays a central role in our life, it provides our food, cleans our water, provides medicine for curing illness, and even creates the oxygen that we breathe. As a matter of fact, biodiversity is crucial in enabling us to survive and stay healthy. If we reduce the amount of biodiversity, by driving many species to extinction, we cannot expect that nature will be able to keep providing these things for us.

On the other hand, I side with those who believe that there are more urgent environmental concerns to tackle. One of the main problems could be air pollution. Such contamination is created by fumes of vehicles and gases in industrial factories, creating serious health problems for humans such as lung cancer and respiratory diseases. In addition, climate change is also creating detrimental impacts on human life. More specifically, extreme weather events have become more intense and frequent, like earthquakes in Japan or frequent storms in Vietnam, which cause major human and asset losses.

In conclusion, although the reduction of wildlife species is a serious problem, I believe that other major environmental concerns should also be considered.

(278 words)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Jun 16, 2021   #2
... earth. Others

The sentence structure shows 2 connected ideas. Therefore, a comma, rather than a period should be used in this presentation. This happened because of the use of the word "While" at the start of the sentence. It used a comparative sentence approach.

facing more pressing

Provide an example to support your opinion and expand the explanation in your personal . paragraph.

For the first reasoning paragraph, use a general reference to the opinion rather than first person pronouns. The use of the first person reference blurs your personal opinion, which should use 1st person references. For this presentation, third person references should be used.

I side with those

Do not side with any opinion yet. You will not get complete scoring consideration if you combine your personal opinion with the public discussion. These need to be 2 separate paragraphs to meet the 3 comparison paragraph requirement. Omitting 1 discussion paragraph will result in a score based on a weak 2 paragraph rather than the stronger 3 discussion comparisons.
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Jun 16, 2021   #3
While many individuals believe/opine that the major ...

This does not contain a complete thought.

While I agree that reduced biodiversity loss is a serious problem...

You probably mean that there are other pressing environmental concerns aside from biodiversity loss. If it is what you're trying to say, you have to write a sentence that states that point. Since this is a discussion essay, it would be better if you provide two reasons supporting your opinion.

... many people are of the opinion believe that ... species is the main a major environmental problem.

... in our life, as it provides our food and medicine, cleans our water, provides medicine for curing illness, and even creates ...

Moreover As a matter of fact, biodiversity is ...

If we reduce the amount of biodiversity declines, by driving many due to the rapid loss of species to extinction, we cannot expect ...

On the other hand, I side with those who ...

The two sides must be discussed in a balanced way in this type of essay. Do not directly say that you prefer this side. You only need to present a discussion about the other point.


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