- Nowadays,many people confront the dilemma about the main factor that shapes our personality. Some people hold the idea that the role of characteristic is so vital on our personality,while others contend that the experience of life has much more impact on development of our personality. In this essay,I will try to point out my reasons why I strongly support the idea that experience is the most important factor that can influence our personality as well as development.
- To begin with, it is an undeniable fact that everybody has a unique personality. Characteristics that we have may change during our lifetime. For instance,if one is unsociable,he or she has to change it in order to get along with other people easily. The example follows that our characteristics can be changed by various situations.
- Moreover,the experience that we may have in our lives,can change our personality and development. The following example shows how it is important : If one experiences failure,it will affect his or her development fairly. To be more precise, next time he or she will try not to repeat this mistake. We may also take education as an example. Because, education is experience that may change not only our personality and development, but also our future. Therefore, the experience is the most significant factor that changes our personality as well as characteristics.
- Taking into account all of these above,we may reach a conclusion that experience is the major factor of personality and development in our lives.
Please,correct my mistakes,if there are any.
Thanks in advance!
Hi I can point out a few changes that you may want to make:
I think that you need to strengthen your argument and make it more obvious which POV your are supporting- re-read this essay and try to find where you could add in more content, and give more reasons for the argument.
Saying phrases like "nowadays, to begin with, moreover" is not necessary and can distract from the content of your essay.
dilemma about the main factor that shapes our personality
the "dilemma" is kind of vague (it means a problem)... either strengthen this statement or remove the dilemma part from the sentence. You mean to say, "Many people wonder what exactly forms an individual's personality." You also mean that there is a debate (not dilemma) over whether people's personality traits are innate or learned from their environment.
In this essay, I will tryhave chosen to point out mythe reasons why I strongly support the idea that experience is the most important factor that can influence our personality as well asand development.
A person's c haracteristics that we have may change during our lifetime.over the course of their lifetime.
Taking into account all of these above,we may reach a conclusion that experience is the major factor of personality and development in our lives.
I would completely re-write this conclusion, it would look better if it was at least 3 sentences, and it should really wrap things up. Try to make it a little more interesting. Start out by saying: "Although many factors contribute to an individual's personality, environment seems to be the most influential."... then add a couple more sentences. Good luck!
