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IELTS Writing Task 2: A majority of nations are striving forward to economic growth



thanhxia293 1 / -  
Jul 24, 2024   #1
Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
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A majority of nations are striving forward to economic growth to bring about better life standards for dwellers, yet culture loss remains a question in the course of development. From my point of view, the detrimental impacts overshadow the merits.
To begin with, economic progress offers an improvement in the quality of life for the population. Increased and diverse economic activities bring about better employment opportunities, generating more income and fulfilling basic demands. For instance, Vietnam's economic collaboration with neighboring countries gives thousands of job opportunities to workers in rural and mountainous areas. This advancement, however, can exert adverse effects, particularly on cultural and traditional values. As people endeavor for economic prosperity, they choose to immerse in the competitive job market rather than return home to embrace familial tradition, which backlashes their relationships and further the breakdown of community bonds and social structures.
As the economy thrives, there is often a simultaneous decline in social values and implications. A society with a wealthy economic base undoubtedly brings about myriad benefits namely, promising employment opportunities, better health services, and education. Appealing as it may seem, robust economic development cannot maintain a sustainable living environment. As nations pursue growth, they often engage in the overconsumption of resources, driving deforestation for industrial expansion. Another implication of the economic boom is the rise of materialism, in which people focus on material possessions and ignore collective well-being. This, in the long run, may lead to the erosion of societal values and the exacerbation of social inequalities.
In conclusion, economic development stems from the desire for a better life and indeed demonstrates improvement, yet its simultaneous implications are inevitable.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15410  
Jul 28, 2024   #2
Your second reasoning paragraph has strayed from the social values discussion. Those are not really values or cultural norms of your people so you made a mistake in referencing an environmental concern and materialism in that section. That paragraph will be the main reason that the essay will get a failing score. You have presented an under developed essay since one paragraph relates to the social values, but the other does not. Therefore, the essay is lacking in related discussion developments. The essay cannot receive a passing score because of the unrelated discussion point. You will get a score that just barely missed the passing score. A sad thing to note considering that you have shown promise in terms of delivering good discussion points.


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