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'To make concrete. First, we make an amalgam of materials' - IELTS Task 1 Process


faisalrachmn 5 / 6  
Jun 19, 2016   #1
The diagrams show the process of making cement which usually used to concrete production. Overall, cement process is more complicated than making concrete.

In the beginning of making cement, we need raw materials (limestone and clay) and it is crunched into powder. After that, it is passed through mixer and rotating heater until becoming lava texture. Next, it is grinded into powder again and packed it.

To make concrete. First, we make an amalgam of materials (15 percent of cement which produced from first diagram, 10 percent of water, 25 percent of sand and 50 percent of gravel which called small stones). After that, we pour into big rotating machine which is called concrete mixer to mix the ingredients of concrete. Finally, it is mixed until smooth and concrete can be used for making a wall.




pujakurniawan19 9 / 16 4  
Jun 19, 2016   #2
Hello faisalrachmn, it seems that your essay is writing IELTS task 1, isn't it?. As far as I read your essay, the number of words (only 136 words) does not enough for writing IELTS task 2 which consist of at least 250 words. Beside that I have some corrections and you can see below:

The diagrams show the process of making cement which usually used to concrete productionand how it use to create concentrete .

Next, it is grinded into powder again and packed it. . The last step in these processes is the cement is packed with bags.
kurniarahmi 6 / 5 1  
Jun 19, 2016   #3
Hi Faisal. I will try help you.

Overall, cement process is more ...Overall, the steps of making cement are more complicated and require advanced machinery while concrete production needs right proportion and simple machine.

Next, it is grinded into powder again and packed it.Futhermore, after all the process finished, the mixture turned into some cement which is then packed into bags.

Meanwhile, to make concrete.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 21, 2016   #4
Hi Faisal, here's my take on your analysis.

- The diagrams below shows
- which is usually
- used toin concrete production.

- crunchedgrounded into powder.
- through a mixer
- and a rotating heater
- until becomingit becomes a lava texture.
- Next, it is grindedgrounded into powder
- again and packed it .

- To make a concrete.
- weit is poured into a big
- called a concrete mixer
- to mix the ingredients of a concrete.
- smoothit reaches that smooth consistency

There you have it Faisal, I hope the above corrections helped in your revision. For future writing reference, mind the details of your analysis, the linking verbs are made in order to complete and link two phrases or ideas together to form a concrete sentence so be sure to incorporate them in your sentences.


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