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if you could make one important change in a school (Toefl)


soshianet 16 / 47  
Nov 16, 2011   #1
If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

There are a lot of things, which could be changed in my university, such as classrooms, libraries, labs, and so on. However, changing the professors is the most important thing that I would really like to be occurred. In this regard, I argue that professors have a significant role in universities, so I would like to change them because our university needs to knowledgeable professors, some people who encourage students to interact with one another, and some people could prepare students for social activities.

Mainly, our university does not knowledgeable professors who could increase the students' information in a certain subject. Indeed, our university needs to professors who are updated and who know a lot about their major. Also, good professors are some people who are able to answer most of the question about a topic, such as one of my professors who was able to explain perfectly, and almost all students were content.

Moreover, professors should allow students to participate in discussions. Professors who let their students to take part in debates cause a lot of information and data transfer among students, and it causes student feel tranquility because they get a lot of information, and they are able to pass their exams easily. In addition, students have to study some by-books to be prepared for the class. For example, I had to study many books to obtain plenty of materials for the international politics class.

Last but not least, professors should prepare students for many social activities; in other words, they should learn all skills and aptitudes which are necessary for the students' future. Also, students should be ready for their jobs in which they would have interaction with other people in society. Students, for example, could be able to assist poor people who are not able to pay money to services' students.

To sum up, professors have an undeniable role in universities, and in my university, unfortunately, they are not perfect ones. Indeed, we need some people who are knowledgeable, let students to interact with one another, and reinforce students' skills in social activities. That is why, in my view, changing professors is the most important task of mine if I could make one important change in my university.

LET ME KNOW MY GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES

kaioulunar 2 / 10  
Nov 16, 2011   #2
There are a lot of things,(Take out the comma) which could be changed in my university, such as classrooms, libraries, labs, and so on. However, changing the professors is the most important thing that I would really like to be occurredIs that the right word? . In this regard, I argue that professors have a significant roleExplain why? What is their role and why is it significant? in universities, so I would like to change them because our university needs to knowledgeable professors, some people who encourage students to interact with one another, and some people could prepare students for social activities.

Mainly, our university does not >have< knowledgeable professors who (could increase the students' information in a certain subject.)you could definitely word that better Indeed, our university needs to professors who are (updated)Updated sounds awkward, like the professors are computers. Try something like 'aware'? and who know a lot about their (major)Try saying 'field of study'. The professors aren't majoring in anything - they're teaching it. . Also, good professors are some people who are able to answer most of the question about a topic, such as one of my professors who was able to (explain perfectly) Explain what perfectly? , and almost all students were content.

Moreover, professors should allow students to participate in discussions. Professors who let their students to take part in debates (cause a lot of information and data transfer among students)Reword. Learn a lot from each other? , and it causes students to feel feel tranquility because they get a lot of information, and they are able to pass their exams easily. In addition, students have to study some (by-books)What does that mean? to be prepared for the class. For example, I had to study many books to obtain plenty of (materials)you obtained materials? Or knowledge? for the international politics class.

Last but not least, professors should prepare students for many social activities; in other words, they should learn all skills and aptitudes which are necessary for the students' future. Also, students should be ready for their jobs in which they would have interaction with other people in society. Students, for example, could be able to assist poor people who are not able to pay money to services' students.

To sum up, professors have an undeniable role in universities, and in my university, unfortunately, they are not perfect ones. Indeed, we need some people who are knowledgeable, let students to interact with one another, and reinforce students' skills in social activities. That is why, in my view, changing professors is the most important task of mine if I could make one important change in my university.

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Most of it has really awkward wording. I recommend re-reading it a few times to yourself and seeing what sounds okay and what does not. It also seems like you're giving very basic examples of what professors should do, making sure their students know the material, that they are prepared for their futures in the job world. Try giving an example that has some more thought behind it.
ssc8701 4 / 8  
Nov 16, 2011   #3
There are a lot of things, which could be changed in our university: classrooms, libraries, labs, and so on. However, changing the professors is the most important thing that would bebefit our school. In this regard, I argue that professors have a significant role in universities; therefore, I recommend we must be provided with the most knowledgeable professors, professors who can encourage students to interact with each another, ones who can prepare students for more social activities.

Mainly, our university does not have knowledgeable professors who can increase the students' knowlege in life. Indeed, our university needs professors who are updated and confident about their major. Also, good professors are some people who are able to answer most of the question about a topic, such as one of my professors who was able to explain perfectly, and almost all students were content.


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