any Signs of art's Stagnation?
Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business.
Why do you think that is?
What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in arts?
We live in a multi-cultural world and art plays a vital role in enriching culture all over the world. Sadly nowadays, the arts have lost popularity and society now concentrates in science, technology and business. This essay will analyze the reason why this might be happening and suggest some of the ways we can turn the attention back to the arts.
While is true that art is essential to cultivate culture, it plays little to no role to the improvement of the quality of living as it rarely generate lucrative benefits for the individual. For instance, one does not have to obtain multiple paintings, drawings or sculpture in order to live comfortable. In contract, people do need electricity, technological innovations and scientific breakthrough to ensure a better livelihood. Additionally, business generates job opportunities, thus improving career prospects which can provide financial stability.
However, despite of the aforementioned reason, art should still remain a significant aspect of our customs and there are multiple ways we can guarantee that. Firstly, the government could increase career options in this sector. For example, by incrementing its financial aid new museums and galleries could be built, thus providing job openings for the population. Secondly, the arts could be established as a compulsory subject in schools and universities. As a result, pupils and university student will view art as a tradition.
In conclusion, even though art has minimal contribution to a person's way of living, as oppose to science, technology and business. However, the interest in art should not be lost and it is the responsibility of the government and academics to prevent this.... little to no role to in ... it rarely generates lucrative ...
... to live comfortably. In contract contrast , people ... to ensure a better livelihood.
However, despite of (in spite of / despite) the ...
..., as opposed to ...
@luna21
Hello there.
I see that you're new here. Welcome to the forum.
First and foremost, I find that while the initial portions of your essay had quite an innovative delivery of the message, try to stick with conventional forms and/or structures. You can still pose the questions in a way that would not necessarily be in a question format. This narrative-type of building and imposing a structure will help you in the long-run in curating useful information. Focus on this. This is most especially because the tone of your language should go in this direction.
Observe the following changes that I will make in the latter portions of your text:
However, d Despite of ... should still remain a significant aspect of in our customs; and there ... ways we can to guarantee that. ... increase sectoral career options in this sector. ... its financial aid, new ... galleries could can be built, thus providing job openings for the population. ... subject in schools and universities educational institutions.
Best of luck as always in your writing.
hi @luna21
I am new here and also study writing to improve my score. So, i dont have capacity to review your grammar but i will focus on idea that you shared.
Firstly, the government could ...
My input related to your opinions are you have to relate point with example. In first point, you have talked about increase career option in this sector. The example, in my opinion, supposed to be government funds newcomer and potential artists to develop their skill by giving free painting courses or held exhibition that give free admission for them. Then in second point, i found that no relation between establish a compulsory subject in schools and universities with viewing arts as a tradition. You might write the arts could introduce in schools and universities to attract students learn more about and appreciate the arts.
These are my inputs for your essay. Best of luck.
Regards,
@agung
