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Task 1: The making process of a weather forecast report


Maya29 14 / 18 14  
Apr 17, 2016   #1
The production of weather and climate projection broadcast on electronic devices is presented in the process diagram. Although all of the data is proceed in the same computer, the steps differ initially in the data sources which account for the variation of analysis and forecasting information results.

At the first stage, three different data sources: satellite, radar and drifting buoy collect all of weather information from the space, land and ocean, respectively. Having been installed, each of the devices creates different signals in order to obtain various analysis and prediction reports. In this step, satellite transfers signals to provide satellite photo, drifting buoy's signals illustrate synoptic chart and radar is able to show the information into both of the radar screen and synoptic chart.

Subsequently, the whole facts come into the computer system in order to get the most accurate projection. This is where the process begins to unite. Lastly, the forecast report can be shared through electronic media like television, radio and recorded announcement once it is ready.



ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Apr 17, 2016   #2
Maya, some modifications have been made by me. I hope you find that this is helpful:

- Although all of the data are processedinon the same computer, the steps differ initially in the data source, which account for the variation of analysis and forecasting information about the results.

- Having beenAfter being installed,
- three different data sources:, such as satellite, radar and drifting buoy collect all of weather information from the space, land and ocean, respectively. (no comma needed)

- In this stepAt this stage,
- ...signals to illustrate synoptic chart and . (full stop, make a new sentence to avoid redundancy, inaccurate complex sentence, and ambiguity)

Overall, I notice that you gain some improvements by practicing writing, most of your sentences are understandable. Yet, you need to be more aware about composing some complex sentences, because inaccurate complex sentence will lead you to a bad score. Even IELTS public writing band descriptors of TASK 1 is also mentioned that accurate simple sentence is still better than inaccurate complex sentence. For example, your introduction, you seem like forcing yourself to compose only 2 sentences, then you failed to do so. Your 'complex' sentence becomes inappropriate and confusing.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 20, 2016   #3
HI Maya, here's additional insights to your analysis.

- projection broadcasted on
- is proceeds in the same
- accountsforto the
- forecasting of information results.

- AtOn the first stage,
- all ofthe weather
- and the radar is able
- both of the radar screen and the synoptic chart.

Overall, the analysis that you wrote for this graph is well written, as you can see there are only a few corrections made on your essay and this is because you were able to elaborately explain the diagram, the process is now easy to understand.

Moreover, you used words that are very easy to understand and this is important when you're creating an analysis. I hope to review more of your essay soon and keep writing.


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