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Malaysia and Singapore - there are resemblances in the percentage of people's science qualifications


KhatarizNS 3 / 5  
Aug 18, 2016   #1
IELTS Writing Task 1: Science Qualification in Malaysia and Singapore

The chart in this text comparison of science qualifications held by people in Malaysia and Singapore. Overall, in both countries there are resemblances in the percentage of people's science qualifications levels.

It is shown that Malaysia and Singapore have a likewise percentage of people who have a master degree's qualification that takes three percent of its citizen which is the lowest percentage than other qualification level. However in bachelor's degree, there is a big difference between both countries, Singapore has higher percentage by ten percent than Malaysia.

Then, in School leaving exams level, Malaysia lead over Singapore by five percent with total thirty five percent of its population. Lastly, people with no qualification in science have the highest percentage of all qualification level , with Malaysian in front of Singapore by five percent. In conclusion, the people's science qualification degree of both countries is similar. Ironically, in both countries still a lot of people do not have science qualification degree.




bung ilham 14 / 30  
Aug 19, 2016   #2
aloha KhatarizNS, here is my suggestions for you:

1st paragraph
The chart in this text comparison of science qualifications held by people in Malaysia and Singapore (your sentence does not have main verb) . Overall, in both countries there are resemblances in the percentage ...(overall, your overview need to be added because it is too short and unclear for me)

2nd paragraph
... there is a big(you'd better use "significant" or others) difference between both countries,. Singapore has higher percentage byof ten percent than Malaysia.
dinartika19 37 / 67 6  
Aug 22, 2016   #3
Hi Khatar!

Malaysia lead => leads

Khatar, you made two conclusions here :
1. Overall, in both countries there are resemblances in the percentage of people's science qualifications levels.
2.In conclusion, the people's science qualification degree of both countries is similar.

I think it's better for you if you just use one conclusion and put it on the first paragraph. You can use overall like you did in the first paragraph.

I hope you can use more than two sentences in one paragraph. The minimum sentences : three
Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Aug 22, 2016   #4
Hi Khatar,

Let me help you to rewrite your introduction :
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of science qualification which is divided into four different forms in Singapore and Malaysia. Overall, it can be seen obviously that the highest number of science qualification is people who do not have a qualification in science while the least is people who has master's degree.

If you already make an overview in introductory paragraph, you do not need to make a conclusion.
Hopefully it helps. Keep Writing.


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