MALE AND FEMALE FITNESS MEMBERSHIP BETWEEN 1970 AND 2000

Feb 19, 2014 #1

MALE AND FEMALE FITNESS MEMBERSHIP BETWEEN 1970 AND 2000

The bar chart reveals the proportion of fitness membership for a period of thirty years, between 1970 and 2000. Generally, the number of men and women who were registered as fitness members time by time had a fluctuation.

In 1970, the number of female fitness membership was very low which only 1000. However, it grew for 100 percent in the following five years. Despite it decreased slightly in 1980, it climbed again in the next five years to almost 3000. After declining to just above 2000, it inclined again to the same number with ten years before it. In 2000, its number decreased for around 25 percent to 2000.

Simultaneously, the amount of male was also increased 100 percent from 1970 to 1975. However, in those five years, it was 100 percent higher than women as well. In 1980, its number fell to around 1500 and continued fell to just under 2000 in 1985, but increased slightly in 1990 to just above 2000. There was a dramatic rise 1995. The number was 5000. However, it fell sharply to 1000 in 2000.

Overall, the total of male fitness membership between 1970 and 2000 was higher than female fitness membership.

Fardhani Putri 23 / 46

Feb 19, 2014 #2

Simultaneously, the amount of male was also increased 100 percent from 1970 to 1975.

...I think its not proper if you write Simultaneously, you have to know the meaning first and make it coherence with the next sentences..

However, in those five years, it was 100 percent higher than women as well

..How did you get 100 percent?
I'm not in expert but I think this sentences little bit confuse..please make it clear.

There was a dramatic rise 1995. The number was 5000.

... There was a dramatic rise in 1995, it was 5000.

dumi 1 / 6,925

1592

Feb 20, 2014 #3

The bar chart reveals the proportion of fitness membership for a period of thirty years,..

This para contains both introduction and overview. Ideally they should come separately.

tiaDS 73 / 235

Feb 20, 2014 #4

Simultaneously, the amount of male was also increased 100 percent from 1970 to 1975.

I think that this sentence should be active sentence.

However, in those five years, it was 100 percent higher than women as well.

the figure was almost doubled to approximately 4000 people than that women as well in 1975

In 1980, its number fell to around 1500 and continued ~~fell~~ decreased to just under 2000 in 1985, but increased slightly in 1990 to just above 2000. There was a dramatic rise 1995. The number was 5000. However, it ~~fell~~ declined sharply to 1000 in 2000.