IELTS task 1; male and female fitness membership @ fitness center

Please check the attachment file a have wrote a graph description

The bar chart provides male and female fitness membership between the period 1970 and 2000.

The male memberships zigzagged during this time significantly. It peaked in 1995 and reached to 5000 members. At the end of the period it dropped suddenly to 1000 in the last year

In contrast, the female memberships started with 1000. It fluctuated and exceeded the other membership twice in 1985 and 1995 respectively.

At the end, the two kinds of memberships ended with totally different members. The female recovered from 1000 to 2000 memberships. The other one collapsed to 1000 membership

First, where is the bar chart? You need to attach it ! You can do it here itself... use the "Attach file(s) " feature.


[i]The bar chart provides the statistics of fitness levels of the male and female membership during the period of 1970 to 2000.[/i]


All these detailed information should be put in one paragraph. Last paragraph should give an overall conclusion about the graphical presentation.

All IELTS essays need to be posted under "Writing Feedback" forum. Also, you should provide a meaningful topic for you essays (type a meaningful topic in the subject field). By doing so, you'd earn more feed backs for your writing.

As for your writing, I feel it's too short and I'm not sure it meets the minimum requirement of word count. Just check on that!

+ your essay has just 96 words, it's a big problem if you take the ielts
+ you shouldn't break down your essay too many paragraph, 2-3 is good
+ The bar chart providesthe percentage or the number of.... male and female fitness membership between the period 1970 and 2000.