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Malte Spitz: Your phone company is watching


ekalamarsyari11 72 / 108 9  
Aug 30, 2016   #1
This essay is a summary of Malte Spitz speech posted in Tedtalk.com. The original tittle of the video is ''Your phone company is watching''

Mobile phone makes people possible to find out many new activities. However, people have to be aware about self-determination they have. It is related to all data that our mobile companies have. Malte has an experience for asking his data to the companies. He said that he has requested it for several time but the firm rejected it, although they gave it in a number of month later. Malte explained it is important for him because it is his live. He wanted to know what has been done by his self. After he accepted the data he explored it in the internet. He found that the data stored all of his information for six month. Consequently, he claimed if ordinary people have all of their data they can manage their society well. In addition, he showed a blue print of China telecommunication that is a very complex network. He thought that companies have disturbed residents' privacy. Therefore he persuaded others to save their privacy.

Aris05 31 / 24 1  
Aug 30, 2016   #2
hai eka. This is my constructive feedback.

Malte has an experience forwhen asking his data to the companies.

He said that he hashad requested it for several ...

although they gave it in a number of monthfew months later

Malte explained it is important forto him because it is his live

He wanted to know what has been done by his self I don't understand what you mean

That's it. I hope it can be helpful.
Yusuf05 11 / 14 2  
Aug 30, 2016   #3
Hi Eka!
Here are my feedbacks to your writing summary.

Through mobile phone makes people seems possible to find out many new activities.
...our mobile networks provideroffered .
...for several times but the firm company rejected -> alternatives:[/b]refused, declined , although the company granted it a few months later.
...it is important for him because it concerns his live.
...what had been done by himself .
...to secure their privacy.

My highlight to you: pay attention to the use of pronoun (my, your, his, her, their etc. always used together with noun : his book , while mine, him, her, etc usually placed after verb or preposition and stand alone).

Well done! Keep writing and break a leg.
Fadhilahumar91 61 / 73 6  
Sep 3, 2016   #4
hi,,,

Though Mobile phone makes people ...
Malte has an experience which asking his data ...

He said that he hashad requested it for several ...

...it is important for him because it concerns his live.
...to secure their privacy


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