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Writing task 2. Man made activities increases climate temperature

mayangrn 1 / -  
Sep 3, 2019   #1
There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher.

What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem?

Nowadays, there are a lot of power plants, factories, and agriculture that made our climate change its temperature. Evidence by man-made activities making this more globally increased.

This essay will discuss what might be the man-made causes of temperature rising and how should we deal with this problem

The temperature rises because of many factors. One is by burning fuels like coal, gas, and oil to create electricity for the consumption of the community. By burning these fuels there is a release of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere which by then increases the heat in the ozone layer. Another is by cutting the trees in the forest for the use of building infrastructures or houses, these will result in the balding of the forest, more increased levels of carbon dioxide and less rain. Trees absorb carbon dioxide thus lessens the temperature we are experiencing and works as a pump that releases moist to air thus produce rain. Interestingly, animals particularly livestock like sheep and cattle's produce methane, a greenhouse gas. When livestock are grazed on a large scale, the amount of methane produced is a big contributor to global warming.

So, to deal with this problem first we must reduce the electricity being used from coal and gas and substitute it clean, renewable energy sources like solar and wind because they have the least emitted carbon dioxide. Secondly, preventing deforestation and tree- clearing. We should plant more trees joining tree planting projects. And lastly, use a different stock feeds that can help to reduce balding of the area and farming's contribution to climate change.

In the end, those man-made activities that increase the global temperature if not prevented should be restrained to delay the effects of climate change.
jasmine12 1 / 2  
Sep 9, 2019   #2
lessens= lessen because the subject is plural.
Hassan91 2 / 4  
Sep 10, 2019   #3
overall, I think it well written essay, but I believe it is better for you to avoid some sentence, which can improve you score.

Many phrases found there can be categorized as hackneyed phrases where almost they are found in students' IELTS essays, like this essay will discuss or how should we deal with this problem.

Instead you can used (the primary cause for this predicaments is .... your idea, and the viable solution is ..... your idea...

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